Rilek1Corner

Tag: Faeces

  • Officer Rejected Request For Toilet Stop, NSF Forced To Defecate Into Ziploc Bag

    Officer Rejected Request For Toilet Stop, NSF Forced To Defecate Into Ziploc Bag

    Hi Singapore, here’s a story that got removed from TIFU, a tribute to all our NSFs with a personal story of mine.

    In honor of the usual tifu tradition I shall tell my tale of a fuck up months after it had occurred.

    I’m from Singapore, and as a rite of passage for a male citizen of this democratic society I have to go through the reluctant torture of serving my nation for 2 years as a low-waged soldier for the army. Anyways I shall spare you readers the usual Singaporean sob story of being forced into serving our nation for 2 years.

    At the beginning of our training phase it is customary to go through BMT(Basic Military Training); the period where all the usual social stigma of abusive sergeants, enciks(old men who have gone slightly deranged from opting to stay in the army) and sirs come to surface in daily conversations. During this period is where my fuck-up came to haunt me for the rest of my life.

    Day of the incident: 5 weeks into my BMT phase and blah blah blah here I am on the day where I would finally shoot live rounds on my SAR21 And we are required to be transported out of Pulau Tekong (a godforsaken island northbound of Singapore) to mainland Singapore to execute our training.

    Ferry Terminal: The entire company is currently lined up and ready to board the ferry towards the mainland. It is at this point where my sergeant told us to head to the washroom to take a dump or a piss as the ride would long. I thought nothing of it, little did I know 🙁

    5 minutes on the bus: I’m onboard the bus towards the firing site and my tummy starts grumbling.

    10 minutes on the bus: Satan started brewing a concoction of pure evil to summon his child within my bowels. I turned to my buddy on my left and started to beg him to distract me from the terrors within me.

    15 minutes on the bus: I started groveling to my sergeant to let me take a dump somewhere. He says, “HOLD IT IN, WE’LL BE THERE IN 10 MINUTES”

    20 minutes on the bus: I’ve been begging him for 5 minutes. Sergeant calls the supervising officer for his advice.

    22 minutes on the ride of my life: My request has officially been rejected.

    25 minutes on the highway to hell: I’ve started to contemplate my options: A. Release Satan’s child into my helmet B. Relieve myself casually like a fuckin’ 3yo C. Release the Kraken into a ziploc bag which kept the contents of another platoon mate’s soldierly tools

    30 minutes on the spiral to nirvana: I have voiced out my options to my sergeant and advised him that I’ll be taking option C.

    30 minutes and 30secs into this fuckup: I’m squatting on the stairs of the backdoor of the bus, carefully aiming my explosive rounds into a tiny ziploc bag with my ass out.

    32 minutes into this shameful bus ride: Bus driver decides that I’ve released too much toxins in the atmosphere of the bus and opens the backdoor.
    note: we are on the expressway now

    33 minutes: A van drove by, packed with passengers and their shocked faces from watching a bare-assed soldier in his uniform take a dump in a ziploc bag.

    35 minutes of pure shame: After 2 minutes of screaming at the bus driver for what’s left of my dignity, the door closes. I ordered for something to wipe my ass with. 5 packs of tissue were thrown to me like how my pride and dignity were thrown away.

    36 minutes of .__.: I’ve cleaned up and left my bag of shit at the back of the bus.

    End of the day: I’ve been immortalized as a legend of the company. Nothing spilled from the ziploc bag. I clinched a 31/32 for my firing. Natural marksman 😀

    TL;DR: Didn’t listen to my superiors advice, civilians witnessed a soldier having explosive diarrhea into a ziploc bag at the back of the bus on the expressway @70km/h.

     

    Source: www.allsingaporestuff.com

  • Wedding Gatecrash Party Made To Eat Nutella And Condensed Milk Concoction Off Diapers

    Wedding Gatecrash Party Made To Eat Nutella And Condensed Milk Concoction Off Diapers

    Take up the challenge and prove your love for the bride, say the bridesmaids.

    And often, the challenges are accepted by the sporting groom and his band of “brothers” – it does not matter how awkward or embarrassing the tests can get.

    wedding-gatecrash-party

    Take the case of the groom and his groomsmen trying to retrieve a gummy worm from a bowl of live worms.

    The video of the incident went viral and prompted criticism from netizens.

    How far can such activities get?

    Madam Ayra Quek, 29, recounts how her husband and his nine groomsmen had to eat from a diaper each at their wedding in February.

    A concoction of Nutella chocolate and condensed milk, which was made to resemble faeces, was smeared on the 10 diapers.

    Mr Amienuddin Abu Bakar, 29, and his entourage had to bury their faces into the diapers and polish them off.

    They then lined the diapers which had letters attached to them to spell out “Amien (heart) Ayra”.

    Madam Quek, a sales executive, says she only learnt of it during the wedding reception.
     
    “When I first watched the wedding video during the dinner reception, I kept saying ‘Oh my God’,” she says.
     

    “But I was really touched.”

    ‘SPORTING’

    Madam Quek adds: “My husband and the groomsmen were sporting.”

    She reveals that there was a slight culture shock for the men at first.

    Of the nine, one is Chinese, another Malay and the rest are Indian.

    Madam Quek says: “Because my husband and most of the groomsmen are not Chinese, it was their first time experiencing a Chinese wedding gatecrash. So they did not know how it worked.”

    Madam Quek, who is expecting a baby girl next month, adds: “My husband and his groomsmen actually finished all of the things that the bridesmaids made because they did not know that most of the time, people would just dump the food away or play cheat.

    “They did everything perfectly.

    “All of them took it pretty seriously and they did not know that the games were just to disturb them.”

    The men also had to shake off clothespins from their bodies and faces while dancing to music.

    Madam Quek says: “They may have received a low score for the games but I know my husband loves me very much.”

    “Because my husband and most of the groomsmen are not Chinese, it was their first time experiencing a Chinese wedding gatecrash. So they did not know how it worked. My husband and his groomsmen actually finished all of the things that the bridesmaids made because they did not know that most of the time, people would just dump the food away or play cheat.”

    – Madam Ayra Quek on her husband Amienuddin Abu Bakar and his entourage

     

    Source: www.tnp.sg

  • Hougang Residents Face Faeces Thrown At Their Flat

    Hougang Residents Face Faeces Thrown At Their Flat

    For the past four months, housewife Yeo Choon Lan, 66, has kept her kitchen windows closed and covered with a large plastic sheet.

    It might be unsightly, but it’s better than the alternative.

    Madam Yeo said in Mandarin: “A neighbour upstairs has been throwing faeces from their kitchen and bathroom window. I cannot sleep well at night because I’m afraid that it will enter the room or even break my window.”

    Nine pieces of excrement were found on the floor and walls outside Madam Yeo’s ground level unit at Block 694 Hougang Street 61 when The New Paper visited on Tuesday.

    Her ordeal began in May this year when she heard loud plopping noises outside her window at around 4am.

    But despite informing organisations, including the National Environmental Agency (NEA), the situation remains unchanged.

    Aside from more flies and ants, the excrement was untouched when TNP visited last Wednesday.

    The onslaught was the worst in June, when she would hear faeces thrown three times a day.

    “Excrement has fallen around 20 times (since May). It’s a very foul smell and we are very distressed,” said Madam Yeo, who lives with her husband, 69, and daughter, 40.

    The issue has also hurt her relations with her neighbours, a 32-year-old woman and her mother who live on the third storey and whom Madam Yeo suspects are the culprits.

    “Once, I saw the mother leaving the toilet shortly after some night soil had fallen,” Madam Yeo said.

    A neighbour on the third storey told TNP: “It’s very gross, I don’t dare go to the back where the faeces is.”

    Madam Yeo filed three police reports between June and September.

    LAWYERS WEIGH IN

    If charged, the culprit caught throwing faeces can face a fine not exceeding $1,000, said Mr Justin Tan, an associate lawyer at Trident Law Corporation.

    To initiate action, Madam Yeo will have to pay $20 to file a Magistrate’s Complaint, he said.

    The guilty party can then be charged under the Environmental Public Health Act.

    Mr Tan said: “The court will issue a notice for the person throwing excrement to attend court. They can then go through mediation or the victim can apply for the person to be charged.”

    However, if the faeces enters Madam Yeo’s compound, the offender can be charged under the Protection from Harassment Act, said lawyer Lim Kia Tong.

    “The magistrate can order the police to investigate,” said Mr Lim.

     

    Source: www.tnp.sg

  • Neighbour In Abuse Case Faces Two More Charges

    Neighbour In Abuse Case Faces Two More Charges

    The neighbour of a woman, allegedly made to eat faeces and drink urine, faced two additional charges on Friday (July 31).

    Darwinder Singh Sukhdev Singh, 39, who is unemployed, is now accused of abetting the victim’s husband, Mr Khamis Abas, to voluntarily cause hurt to his wife, Madam Kamisah Burel, 58, by feeding her human faeces and urine.

    Singh allegedly committed the offence at Block 48 Lower Delta Road in April.

    A video clip of Madam Kamisah being slapped, allegedly by her daughter, had gone viral.

    Singh is also accused of slapping Mr Khamis on his face once at the block of flats sometime last year. He was first charged in court last week.

    His earlier charge stated he had allegedly abetted the couple’s daughter, Ms Siti Nur Redha Khamis, 25, to voluntarily cause hurt to her mother by feeding the elderly woman human faeces and urine.

    He is accused of committing this offence at the same block at around 10.30pm on July 1.

    Singh is now remanded at the Institute of Mental Health for a psychiatric evaluation and will be back in court on Aug 14.

     

    Source: www.tnp.sg