Tag: polygamy

I am a Malay woman. I only get half share of any inheritance of what my brothers get.
I am a Malay woman. My testimony is only half that of a man.
I am a Malay woman. During prayers, I cannot pray in the same row as my sons but must always be behind them.
I am a Malay woman. Before I go out of my house, they tell me that I must first get my husbands permission to leave the house.

I am a Malay woman. As a wife, my husband is entitled to marry 3 other women, but I can only be married to one, at a time.

I am a Malay woman. As a wife, I am ordered to obey the husband.

I am a Malay woman. As a wife I am only entitled to 1/8 of my husbands estate (thats if he only has one wife, otherwise I am only entitled to 1/32 of his estate if he has 4 wives.) But my husband is entitled to half of whatever I own upon my death, if I have no children, and 1/4 if I left children.

I am a Malay woman. While the men can wear anything they want, I am required to cover my whole body save for my face and hands. Falsely conjectured.

I am a Malay woman. I cannot divorce my husband unless he agrees. Unless I redeem myself through Khul’. Unless I fight for my right to freedom in the courts. Which take time.

I am a Malay woman. My ex husband doesnt bother to pay for my childrens maintenance. It is not an offence. But if I fail to obey my husband to have sex with him, I am nusyuz. And the angels will not visit me for I am cursed for the night

I am a Malay woman.
Isn’t this caste system?
*******************************************
Update:
Wow! I really didnt expect a post of truth to generate this much condemnations.
As I do not have the benefit of time to respond to the hundreds of comments one by one, except suffice to say that most of those that condemned my post and viralised it, have not objectified it nor have they given me point to point which of my statement is a lie or misleading.

However this particular response from a
Prof Madya Dr Rafidah Hanim Mokhtar deserves my response.

This is what she has written: And my responses are in the square brackets.

I AM A MALAY WOMAN TOO.

I am a Malay woman too.
I subscribe fully to Islam.
*[So do I but I submit to Allah and his words from the Quran]

As I have believed in the ayat
ا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا ادْخُلُوا فِي السِّلْمِ كَافَّةً
“Oh you who believe, enter into Islam completely and perfectly”
Therefore I do not pick certain ayatul Quran
*[GREAT! ALHAMDULILLAH]
To suit myself.
Or to what the world dictates.
As I’m fully aware
The Quran is a book of God *[TRUE!]
and He knows His creation very well.
That it’s impossible for one single ayat to contradict another. *[ABSOLUTELY!]
I will never pick which to object and which to follow. *[AGREED!]
I am a Malay Muslim woman.
And like many other Muslim women elsewhere
We know Islam treats us with justice. [AGREED]
That the men are commanded to treat us justly.[AGREED]
That the best of them, are the best in ‘akhlak’ towards their wives. [AGREED]
That mothers, are mentioned 3 times more than fathers to reaffirm our position to sons and daughters.

*[I AM AWARE OF THAT HADITH] [BUT I am also aware that the Quran teaches us all to treat both our parents “Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not “Fie” unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was young.” [Quran 17:23-24]
We have enjoined on humankind kindness to parents.” [Quran 29:8 and 46:15]And (remember) when We made a covenant with the children of Israel, (saying): worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents…” [Quran 2:83]

“And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him. (Show) Kindness unto parents… ” [Quran 4:36]

“Say: Come, I will recite unto you that which your Lord has made a sacred duty for you; that you ascribe nothing as partner unto Him and that you do good to parents…” [Quran 6:151]

I am a Malay Muslim woman.
I know my rights are upheld in Islam.
*[The Quran does say that]

And I know these rights are not defined by equal numbers of everything.
*[Its called Equity over Equality]
That bigger numbers do not necessarily mean privileges.
They actually mean heavier responsibilities

I am a Malay Muslim woman
I know that Allah SWT judge by those with the most sincere of ibadah
And not by the position in prayer rows of separated men and women.
*[Does not deflect from the fact that a woman cannot pray in the same row as men, and that even a male child has more right to stand infront of his mother]
Men can perform solat in the first row, but if their hearts are full of insincerity, they can never supersede women who pray at the back with full submission to her God .
*[Allah says that we are all equal in the eyes of God, so why am I being discriminated on the basis of my gender?]

And when it comes to blessings, Allah SWT put us all at par, regardless of gender. *[Yes God never once in the Quran ordained that women shall stand behind males and male children in prayer.]

I am a Malay Muslim woman.
I know that Islam has granted women fairness
In inheritance matter, Jointly Acquired Property, debts and Wasiat are duly settled first
Before Faraid take its course

***
[WITH due respect, this is not the case. Although God was very clear in surah Al Baqarah 180 and Surah al Maidah 106 that when dath approaches you, you are required to make a will/wasiat.

“It is prescribed for you, when death approaches any of you, if he leaves wealth, that he make a bequest to parents and next of kin, according to reasonable manners. (This is) a duty upon Al-Muttaqun (Surah Al baqarah 180)
O ye who believe! When death approaches any of you, (take) witnesses among yourselves when making bequests,- two just men of your own (brotherhood) or others from outside if ye are journeying through the earth, and the chance of death befalls you (thus). If ye doubt (their truth), detain them both after prayer, and let them both swear by Allah: “We wish not in this for any worldly gain, even though the (beneficiary) be our near relation: we shall hide not the evidence before Allah: if we do, then behold! the sin be upon us!”(surah Al Maidah 106)

Hence it is very clear that GOD demanded us to write a will to our parents and our nearest kins. And only after our wealth has been distributed after clearing the wasiat to our parents and our children, would faraid kick in.
However, what has happened over the years was that Wasiats are now limited to 1/3 of the deceased estate and with a further condition that non of the heirs to our estate are to benefit from the will.

A Muslim can bequeath up to 1/3 of his estate to non-Faraid heirs or for charitable purposes (after deducting all debts and liabilities). The remaining 2/3 of his estate will be distributed to the Faraid heirs, in accordance to Faraid proportions.
So a Wasiat is duly settled only if the beneficiaries to the Wasiat are:
1. not the heirs
2. limited to 1/3 of the estate]

*[Leaving a very peculiar situation where if I had 20 daughters and no sons nor any other heirs save for my 20 daughters, my 20 daughters are only allowed to inherit 2/3rd of my property. The rest is transmitted to baitul Mal. Now how fair is that? Why discriminate on gender? Although the Quran states that if there be more than one daughter their share is 2/3, if Wasiats were allowed to include heirs and no 1/3, then the daughters stand to benefit. This is equity.
So if I left an estate worth RM3million, Baitul Mal snatches RM1 million off my estate. Which would have been resolved had a Will giving my daughters all my properties]

A man takes more, but in his properties are the rights of others, his wife, his children and his parents
A woman takes less, but all properties are hers, and hers alone.
*[Could you kindly explain where in the Quran or in any Syariah law that a man “takes more, but his properties are the rights of others, his wife, his children and parents. A woman takes less, but all properties are her, and hers alone”?

I actually have a few ongoing cases right now where the property of the wife that is clearly already stated in the Register of Titles are quietly being snatched away from her by the husband in the Syariah Courts under the pretext of the property being harta sepencarian. I would really love to sit down with Professor Dr Rafidah to discuss how Article 13 of the Federal Constitution which guarantees that
13. (1) No person shall be deprived of property save in accordance
with law.
(2) No law shall provide for the compulsory acquisition or use of property without adequate compensation.

However, sadly, the Syariah Courts have ordered properties already held in the wifes name to be surrendered to the husband on the grounds that the husband contributed to the purchase of the property and as such he is entitled to force his wife to surrender her share of her property.
I would sincerely like to invite Prof Dr to sit in with me and review these cases and see if it is a just and equitable deal for the wife]Especially so in the Quran surah 2;229 and in Surah 4:20, ”
But if you want to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount [in gifts], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?”

I am a Malay Muslim woman
Let’s not emotions and testimonials blind us towards our religion, when many others obliging to the law of Allah SWT never once felt that Islam, creates caste among its followers.

There are bad men and bad women and bad implementation by humans, that mar any good system.
The pre-nuptial agreements so revered by the Western societies.
Makes more men chose to not make women their wives
Prefer cohabitation instead and in the process, the woman lose her rights.

In this day of Israk and Mi’raj, let us be reminded of things that were given to the Prophet Muhammad SAW in Ascension as a result of the encounter in Miraj are:

1. Five daily prayers equal to the reward of fifty daily prayers.
2.The last two verses of the chapter al-Baqara.
3.The muqhimat (major sins) of the people from the ummah of Muhammad were forgiven except those who associated partners with Allah.

On the perception that Islam discriminate man and woman, let’s again be reminded that the differences are only in worldly matters, that have interconnection with differences in responsibilities awarded to each man and woman.

But as to whom shall be the best in the eyes of Allah SWT, WE ALL STAND THE SAME CHANCE.

Al-Ahzab 35:

إِنَّ الْمُسْلِمِينَ وَالْمُسْلِمَاتِ وَالْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْقَانِتِينَ وَالْقَانِتَاتِ وَالصَّادِقِينَ وَالصَّادِقَاتِ وَالصَّابِرِينَ وَالصَّابِرَاتِ وَالْخَاشِعِينَ وَالْخَاشِعَاتِ وَالْمُتَصَدِّقِينَ وَالْمُتَصَدِّقَاتِ وَالصَّائِمِينَ وَالصَّائِمَاتِ وَالْحَافِظِينَ فُرُوجَهُمْ وَالْحَافِظَاتِ وَالذَّاكِرِينَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا وَالذَّاكِرَاتِ أَعَدَّ اللَّهُ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةً وَأَجْرًا عَظِيمًا .

VERILY, for all men and women who have sur-rendered themselves unto God, and all believing men and believing women, and all truly devout men and truly devout women, and all men and women who are true to their word, and all men and women who are patient in adversity, and all men and women who humble themselves [before God], and all men and women who give in charity, and all self-denying men and self-denying women, and all men and women who are mindful of their chastity, and all men and women who remember God unceasingly: for [all of] them has God readied forgiveness of sins and a mighty reward

*[I also see that Prof Dr has not addressed my other concerns with regard to
1. a womans testimony in only equivalent to half of males
2. that it takes a miuch longer time for a woman to get her divorce whereas in many courts, a man can walk in to the courts today and be given an immediate date to pronounce talak in court – its called FAST TRACK TALAK.
I have many cases that not only does it take time but costs money to the wife to seek divorce, custody, harta sepencarian, mutaah and nafkahs for children and nafkah eddah.

Please Prof Dr, I would like to invite you to the realities of what it is like to be a Malay woman in Malaysia

 

Source: Nik Elin Nik Aziz