Tag: ramadan

  • Eid As A Struggling Single Twenty Something

    Eid As A Struggling Single Twenty Something

    As a child, I used to love celebrating Eid. I dreaded the fasting month of Ramadhan but I looked forward to new clothes, eating scrumptious rendang and ketupat, and of course, for many Asian kids – the collection of green packets filled with dollar dollar bills. Apart from visiting close relatives on the first day of Eid, you get to spend another day in Syawal with your closest friends from school visiting their houses.

    It was kinda cool to bring your friends over when you were ten years old, dressed in the traditional baju kurung going around the neighbourhood and coming home at the end of the day with your bag bursting with green packets. You would know which house gave the envelope, and if you get at least $5 from that house, you’re definitely going back there again the year after.

    As I grew older, however, the enjoyment of Eid started to fade away. At fifteen, I despised celebrating Eidulfitri. Eidulftri would be torturous for me since I had to appeased my newly divorced parents – I couldn’t spend more than 2 hours at my dad’s place or I’ll never hear the end of my mum’s wrath. My sisters were busy with their own families, making sure they visit the in-laws before making their way to my mum’s. And for some reason, you start not liking your relatives. I remember bursting out at my sister for coming so late int the afternoon and my make up was already ruined from the frustration of waiting around. The first day of Eid as a hormonal teenager was basically me playing the waiting game.

    Eid started to change as I entered my twenties. While it was still as boring as when I was a teenager, I began to prepare the house the house willingly. I bought flowers, new cushion covers, and occasionally curtains to slowly make the house into a home. I volunteered help in the kitchen, making sure I picked up my mum’s recipes to her signature Eid dishes and perfecting them. I made cookies and sweet treats to offer to the guests coming over to my place and made sure there were all sorts of drinks available for them.

    As much as I wish Eid is better now as I enter my mid-twenties, I realised that an awkward Eid is a common predicament between peers of my age. Perhaps it’s the having to part with copious amounts of money during the festive period – spending for the house and family, green packets for the little ones, awkward conversations with aunts and uncles who seem to nitpick on every aspect of your life. Or maybe it has got to do with spending Eid as a single woman, wondering when you’d be able to prepare for Eid excitedly for your kids and husband. Whatever the reason is, Eid as a struggling single twenty something is just plain boring.

    I make do with baking cookies, cakes and occasionally help my mum prepare the traditional dishes we feast on the morning of Eid. House chores like literally scrubbing the floors get my mind off the fact that each Eid is the same as before – lonesome and boring. I try getting away from celebrating Eid by going to work, but I feel bad for my mum. Though to be honest, I’m quite happy working while everyone else celebrates.

    One day, I’ll wake up on the morning of Eid excited to head to the mosque, dress my family up and head out for the rounds of visiting. One day, I’ll learn to appreciate the merry-making and spamming of family photos on Facebook and Instagram. One day, I’ll teach my daughter how to prepare the raya dishes and get my son to wash the windows and fix the curtains up. One day, I’ll be on my knees on the morning of Eid, with my head buried in my husband’s hand, asking for forgiveness and perhaps shedding a tear or two.

    One day, that happy family portrait of mine will be hung on my wall just in time for Eid.

    For now, I’ll be contented with spending the morning of Eid at home, with a cup of coffee and a bowl of lontong, watching reruns of Bujang Lapok on the telly with my three cats.

    Eid Mubarak everyone.

     

    Source: https://sharmeee.com

  • From A Non-Muslim To Muslims: May The Blessed Month Of Ramadan Be Upon You Once Again

    From A Non-Muslim To Muslims: May The Blessed Month Of Ramadan Be Upon You Once Again

    Ramadhan and Aidil Fitri

    Ive talked to 3 friends yesterday. As a non Muslim, i ignorantly told them “tahan lagi! One more day and you dont have to fast!”

    To my suprise, all three reprimanded me. I honestly thought they would say “insya Allah!”. Nope. Instead, they, on separate occassions, told me the same thing along this line :” no! I will miss Ramadhan and the fasting. It was a beautiful experience and i cant wait for the next Ramadhan to come!”

    Long have we live under the same roof and yet we couldnt truly empathize or understand the true feelings of each other. I am quite confident that most non-Muslim friends, out of good will, would have thought that our Muslims friends and family will find relief towards the end of Ramadhan, assuming that fasting is some sort of hardship to them.

    Most Muslim however will reply you quite the otherwise, that the fasting month really give them peace, solace, and is definitely a privilege to look forward to.

    I then recalled Monyet King (now Pisang Raja)’s story about his maid, who never fast when she was back jn indonesia, but fasted religiously as she starts her work here in KL. The reason was simple: back in Indonesia she survived as a poor hard labour and needed to eat to work so that her family can be fed. Now that she has a better life in malaysia she can then indulge in her religious obligation to fast, of which she did so voluntarily and jovially.

    The Ramadhan is truly a humbling month for all to enjoy. The annual affair reminds muslim to be forgiving, patience, and to empathize with the less fortunate. Working in a 99% Muslim organization, i must say that i felt their effort in improving their “zahir” and “batin”. I felt their peace, their forgiveness, and patience. It is a beautiful reminder to all.

    Another friend told me, she looked forward to ramadhan more so than syawal’s aidil fitri. Reason is simple : Ramadhan gave her peace and she found solace with The Creator through her efforts of humbling herself. Syawal Aidil Fitri on the otherhand is just another festive and cultural celebration disproportionately blown up through heavy capitalism, consumerism, and commercialization.

    A true muslim, she said, will appreciate Ramadhan more than the Eid, and i tend to concur with her.

    Now that ramadhan has come to an end, I hope the month long of endurance and peace would extend to all mankind throughout the year.

    Selamat Hari Raya aidil Fitri and May the next blessed and holy month of Ramadhan reach all of us in no time.

     

    Source: Tai Zee Kin

  • Hungry And Parched, Muslim Converts Find Their First Ramadan The Hardest

    Hungry And Parched, Muslim Converts Find Their First Ramadan The Hardest

    Half an hour to go before the ceremony, Hilda Bondoc and Norma Cachola sat quietly among a group of happily chatting women. There was discernible tension in the air, evidenced by Ms Cachola’s tightly folded arms and Ms Bondoc’s repeated dabbing of sweat off her face.

    When I approached to greet the two ladies in their 30s, they managed only terse smiles.

    The two Filipinas had turned up at about 10am to meet their friends, dressed meticulously in baju kurung and tudung. Every Sunday, they would gather here at Darul Arqam, near the Malay cultural hub of Geylang Serai. The nondescript, three-storey white building is home to the Muslim Converts’ Association (MCAS), which provides free Islamic classes in various languages, including Tagalog. Ms Bondoc and Ms Cachola are students of the beginners’ course on Islam.

    I checked the time – just five minutes more before the clock struck 11am. It was almost time. The pair broke away from the group to wait on a bench outside the function room. “Nervous?” I asked. “A bit,” Ms Bondoc replied, while Ms Cachola gave another nervous smile.

    Ms Bondoc has been a domestic worker in Singapore for seven years, and Ms Cachola, nine. The cause of their jitters this sweltering Sunday morning: They would be renouncing their faiths and officially declaring themselves Muslims in a conversion ceremony.

    I had asked for permission to witness the rather intimate affair. It almost felt like watching a marriage solemnisation take place – with a registration officer guiding the pair and their two witnesses to endorse official documents in the presence of friends and family, and the recitation of the Shahadah – Declaration of Faith – in Arabic. Both women repeated it a few times to get it right.

    For the past seven years, the number of Muslim conversions administered in Singapore has stayed fairly consistent at between 600 and 700 a year. More than half of these involve foreigners, some of whom travelled to Singapore just to get converted. The reason for this, according to MCAS deputy manager Iskandar Yuen Abdullah, is Singapore’s unique system.

    “The process that we have in place is a very holistic approach. We offer the understanding of Islam, we offer them social network opportunities, and then we have a learning path from foundation courses to the advanced,” he said.

    “They also receive an official card at the end of the conversion to show that they’re Muslim, so that there will be no disputes or arguments down the road. It’s unique (to Singapore),” he added.

    DEALING WITH “UNEASY” BOSSES

    Mr Iskander revealed that Filipinos form a large share of the foreigners who convert here. MCAS began to notice a growing number of Filipino domestic workers visiting Darul Arqam a couple of years ago. To help these newbies grasp the teachings of Islam, they convinced Dr Siti Maryam, an experienced educator in Islamic studies, to conduct classes in Tagalog.

    Dr Maryam was born in the 1970s into a Muslim family in Catabato City in southern Philippines, where most of the population is Muslim. As we spoke about her “girls”,  the childless trained lawyer oozed motherly warmth. “The Filipinos can speak English, but there are certain things that are better to learn in our own vernacular,” she said.

    The OFWs – overseas Filipino workers – are a tight-knit bunch and they look after and influence one another. That, Dr Maryam said, is perhaps why there is growing interest in Islam among them. “A simple thing that I can do is to share the knowledge I have, because sometimes it’s very negative in the media,” she said. “(The religion) is given a very different colour.”

    Besides being a teacher, Dr Maryam sometimes plays the role of a counsellor. Many of her students get into problems with employers who feel uneasy with their interest in Islam. Some bosses even threaten to terminate their contracts and send them home.

    “Don’t be hurt by that,” she would tell the women. “Make them understand that Islam is not bad, Islam is inclusive.” It may take a few months or up to year, but, she said, employers usually come around so long as the helper continues to “do her job nicely”.

    “There is no perfect society,” Dr Maryam offered when asked about the social stigma that sometimes accompanies conversion to Islam. “Negativity breeds negativity. To lessen the stigma, prove (through your actions) that you’re not bad.”

    FAINTING ON THE JOB

    One major hurdle that all new converts have to overcome is their first Ramadan. Ms Bondoc and Ms Cachola would not be fasting this year, as there were only a few days left to Ramadan. But their friend, Nur Amira Monzon, remembered that first time 11 years ago.

    A domestic helper for an Australian family, she spends her days off volunteering as a guide at Darul Arqam. Ramadan is a busy period for the centre, with a constant stream of people coming in to offer zakat, or donations.

    Ms Monzon has a smile for anyone who meets her gaze or asks for help. With large eyes that sparkle when she speaks, she looks younger than her 39 years. Imagine my surprise when the single mother told me she has a 17-year-old daughter back in the Philippines. When I asked if she wouldn’t rather rest on her days off, she said: “I’m very happy to help people here. This is my second home.”

    She converted to Islam in November 2004 and experienced her first Ramadan the following year. The Chinese family she was working for then had three young children; looking after them was demanding work. On the third day of Ramadan, she felt tired and weak; her brain felt “like there was nothing”. At about 3pm, she fainted. Her employer sent her to the hospital.

    “You have to wake up early to suhoor, but I didn’t do that,” Ms Monzon said. Suhoor refers to the pre-sunrise meal that Muslims consume before starting the day’s fast. “You have to adjust yourself to that and it was a bit difficult for me – I had no appetite.” The doctor told her to stop fasting as her body was in shock.

    “SO MUCH LOVE” FROM STRANGERS

    Of course, not every convert goes through such a dramatic moment during their first Ramadan, especially if they have prepared themselves well. There is a wealth of information online about the kind of food to eat so that the body adjusts quickly to the rigour of fasting at least 12 hours a day.

    That was exactly what Shane Hew did – he Googled. The 27-year-old bachelor may be slim but he is a self-confessed big eater. And ever since he embraced Islam in January, he has become even more aware of what and how much he eats. To ready himself for his first Ramadan, he followed instructions he found online.

    The Uber driver’s Ramadan breakfast menu looked like recommendations from a women’s health magazine. Suhoor consisted mainly of oatmeal, banana and yoghurt, but no coffee – which dehydrates. The meal plan worked well for the Chinese Singaporean. His stomach only started growling at about 4pm or 5pm. When the hunger pangs hit, he told himself he had “just a few more hours” to go.

    Being a chauffeur-on-demand allowed Mr Hew – who took on the Muslim name Ehsan – the flexibility to break fast at a different mosque each day. He enjoyed the time spent with what he called his “food companions” – strangers he sat with for iftar (the meal eaten by Muslims after sunset during Ramadan). “During this whole breaking fast at the mosque, I get to experience so much love from different people,” he said.

    He recounted the first day when he queued up for food. “There was a Bangladeshi who was very loving and treated me as if I was his young brother – scooping rice for me and just stuffing me with food. And there was an Indian father with his kid who kept staring at me. The man asked why I converted to Muslim, then said, ‘May God bless you with peace in life.’”

    “You definitely cannot see this anywhere else. It makes me feel like I actually belong. There is no awkwardness. That’s the beauty of it,” said Mr Hew.

    NIGHTLY PRAYERS

    Hunger and thirst aside, another aspect of Ramadan may prove challenging for new converts.

    “The fasting part was my greatest worry at the start, but then I realised during Ramadan we have to perform the nightly prayers,” said Ms Li Jinghan, who underwent conversion just before Ramadan last year. “That was difficult,” she recalled.

    The bubbly 26-year-old Chinese Singaporean met her Malay Muslim husband Muhammah Aizat Khalis in 2012 while both were studying at university. “Before we even agreed to be together, he made it very clear that for us to even get to the stage of marriage, I would have to convert. But he didn’t pressure me, he was just saying, make the effort to learn, and then we’ll see how it goes.”

    After dating for three years, with the blessings of both their families, the couple decided to marry. That was when Ms Li converted, taking on Jihan as her Muslim name.

    “I converted about two weeks before Ramadan, so I was just getting used to praying. It was really painful to do the five prayers (a day), and then now (during Ramadan) I have to go to the mosque for extra prayers. After we break fast, we’d be at the mosque at about 8pm and we’d pray until 9pm or 10pm. It was really exhausting,” Ms Li said.

    Sometimes, she would break down and cry. Noticing her struggle, her in-laws asked her to take it easy, but Ms Li felt obliged. “I feel bad if I don’t try,” she said.

    This year, things got a lot easier. “It’s been a whole year of praying, my legs got used to it. In March I actually went for the pilgrimage and we prayed a lot. That was when I realised, okay, so last year wasn’t so bad,” she said, chuckling.

    BEING A BLESSING TO OTHERS

    Inspired by her own initial struggles in practising Islam, she recently quit her job at the Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority of Singapore (AVA) to focus on building an online platform for converts worldwide.

    “I realised a lot of Muslims are being marginalised in their own society, they can’t declare their faith like I do in Singapore. And they might not be able to find the products they need easily, be it prayer items, or modest clothing, or even Islamic books to know more about their religion. I’m just hoping I can bring ease and convenience to the lives of Muslims worldwide.” Ms Li said.

    She has the full support of her husband, an immigration and customs officer. “She kept thinking about it every night – even after she got home from AVA she would work until 2am, 3am just to pursue her dream,” said Mr Aizat, 28.

    I asked Ms Li what Ramadan meant to her. She said: “I’ve seen the way (religion) shaped my husband’s worldview and how he treats his parents. He’s very filial, he loves his siblings a lot, he’s very kind and generous, and I thought all of that came from the guidance of Islam.

    “When I understood that, all I want to be is a blessing to others. That’s what I aim to be, as a Muslim.”

     

    Source: ChannelNewsAsia

  • Gay Muslim: Blessed, Parents Accept Me And Partner, Celebrating Aidilfitri Together

    Gay Muslim: Blessed, Parents Accept Me And Partner, Celebrating Aidilfitri Together

    This year Raya is gonna special to me and my partner. It’s our third Raya together as a couple. I come from a Super duper sporting and open minded BIG Malay family while my partner come from a traditional Taiwanese Chinese family.

    Me and my partner has been together for close to 4 years and our age gap is 12 years apart thus he and my parents age gap with him isn’t that far. 3 years ago when I introduced him to my whole family of 8,my mum likes him a lot and even ask him to call her “Mak Cik” instead of Sister (Mum younger bro is younger than my partner) Since then on every Hari Raya eve my mum will specially cooks Chicken Rendang (Partner don’t eat beef) for him and ask me to bring it over to his place on Raya eve and spend time together.(I wrote a post about my mum during Hari Raya 2 years ago)

    Dad on the other hand shows love in a different kind. Well, me and my partner travels a lot during our free time. Dad works as a driver, there was a time where my dad makes an effort to find out about our trip and our flight arrival time where he will wait for us at the airport to welcome and send us home!!

    Mum always reminds me that “if you love someone love doesn’t see any age,gender or race. I’m always happy for you no matter who you are or who you love.”

    Well this year Raya will definetely be a memorable one coz my parents insistently requested me to invite my partner home to break fast together on the eve of Raya! My partner was initially shy about the whole idea but well since it’s his “in laws” request, he can’t turn them down mah.

    Despite my parents not being educated and rich ,I feel blessed to have them and I’m thankful that they accepted me and my partner! I love you Mak & Bapak!

    To end it off,here’s wishing all my Muslim LGBT mates a SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

     

    Source: GLBT Voices Singapore

  • Bangladeshi Foreign Workers Steadfast Observing Ramadan Despite Gruelling Schedules

    Bangladeshi Foreign Workers Steadfast Observing Ramadan Despite Gruelling Schedules

    On the last night of Terawih Prayers before Ramadan comes to an end for our Muslim friends, I had the privilege to witness and photograph how the men who built our houses practise their faith.

    Many of the construction workers in Singapore are Bangladeshi, and many Bangladeshi are Muslim, so I’ve always wondered how they continued to be faithful during the Holy Month despite their punishing and gruelling working lives here in Singapore.

    Last night (4th July 2016) I photographed these Muslim workers saying their Terawih Prayers outside their dormitory in Tuas, where space is so limited within the dorms that they have had to bring their faith out onto the roadside.

    *Please feel free to share this*

    040716

     

    Source: Darren Soh I Photographer

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