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Tag: marriage

  • Married Woman Had Sexual Affair With Bangladeshi, Blackmailed With Sex Videos

    Married Woman Had Sexual Affair With Bangladeshi, Blackmailed With Sex Videos

    A Bangladeshi national filmed himself having sex with a married Singaporean woman, then threatened to send the explicit video clip to her friends and family.

    On Tuesday (May 24), the 42-year-old man was sentenced to five months’ jail after admitting to threatening the woman, aged 38, between March 27 and April 4 this year.

    He was initially scheduled to go for trial but changed his mind and pleaded guilty on Monday (May 23). Neither he nor the complainant can be named due to a gag order.

    Deputy Public Prosecutor Ryan David Lim said the pair were in an intermittent relationship from around 2007 to 2013. They broke up in 2014 and he returned to Bangladesh.

    He returned in early 2015 and tried to resume their relationship but she refused.

    He told her he had multiple video clips of them having sex and the contact details of her family and neighbours. He sent her screenshots of the details to substantiate his claims.

    He told her that they would have to meet before he would allow her to delete the video clips from his mobile phone.

    The complainant had sex with him multiple times to try to have the video clips deleted. But the accused had saved several copies of the clips and the complainant was unable to delete all of them.

    On Jan 28, 2016, while they were having sex, he filmed a video clip of the act without her knowledge, using his mobile phone.

    From March 28 to April 6, as the complainant began ignoring him, he sent several messages to her over the WhatsApp messaging service, threatening to send the video clip to her friends and family.

    On April 6, after the complainant did not reply to his messages, her husband and daughter each received a copy of the video clip from the accused’s mobile phone.

    When her daughter received it, she screamed from her room and shouted at her mother to tell the accused to stop disturbing her. The daughter then retrieved the phone belonging to her father and deleted the video clip that the accused had sent.

    The accused could have been jailed for up to two years and fined for criminal intimidation.

     

    Source: www.straitstimes.com

  • More Marriages Breaking Down Because Of Same-Sex Infidelity

    More Marriages Breaking Down Because Of Same-Sex Infidelity

    In this day and age, the third party that causes a marriage break-up may not be the usual “other woman” or “other man”.

    Family lawyers say they have been seeing more marriages unravel on account of an affair with someone of the same sex.

    It is not common, but the 20 lawyers and private investigators that The Sunday Times interviewed say it is a noticeable development.

    Many of the lawyers handle one or two such cases a year now. But there were hardly any such cases 10 to 15 years ago. At most, it was just one case every few years.

    Lawyers and counsellors say many of the men and women involved may be gay, lesbian or bisexual, but repressed their feelings to conform to social norms or to please their parents by getting married and having children. But with society more open today, more of them are acting on their feelings.

    Lawyer Tan Siew Kim said: “I think being attracted to someone of the same sex is not so taboo any more. So all these people… feel it is now more acceptable to pursue their happiness, if they meet someone of the same sex.”

    Private investigators say the proliferation of social media and dating websites has made it easier to seek and establish such relationships, especially for gay men.

    Lawyer Gloria James-Civetta said one of her clients was suspicious when her husband, a hair stylist in his 30s, became more conscious of his appearance and was frequently out till late. The private investigator the client hired found that her husband often patronised gay clubs. When confronted, he confessed to being gay and told her he wanted to divorce her.

    Ms James-Civetta said of the couple, who have two children: “He told her he felt pressure from his parents to marry. She felt deceived, like he did not really love her at all.”

    According to counsellors, when women get involved with a same-sex companion, it is usually the result of having developed a strong bond with someone who offers them the emotional intimacy they find lacking in their husbands.

    Lawyers say some women even decide to end the marriage and leave the children to be with their new partners.

    Lawyer Rina Kalpanath Singh, who has handled such cases, said: “They tend to shy away from fighting for custody. They may feel ashamed as same-sex relationships are not so accepted by society yet and they don’t want to put their children through living with two parents of the same sex.”

    Understandably, the discovery that their husband or wife is gay or lesbian is traumatic. And many of these spouses demand a divorce, lawyers say. Ms Singh said: “The betrayal cuts even deeper when they find out the third party is someone of the same sex as their spouse.”

    Lawyers say adultery is not cited as grounds for divorce in cases of infidelity involving same-sex partners. This is because adultery is legally defined as a sexual relationship between a man and a woman who are not married to each other, but to other people. So these individuals file for divorce citing “unreasonable behaviour”.

    Lawyer Helen Chia said: “I’m certain this has been going on for some time. It is just that no one talks about it. The world we live in is more accepting, so people now dare to come out and talk about it.”

     

    Source: www.straitstimes.com

  • 50% Of Divorce Cases Now Involve Cheating Wives

    50% Of Divorce Cases Now Involve Cheating Wives

    A noticeable number of marriages in Singapore break down because of an unfaithful spouse: the wife.

    Twenty veteran family lawyers and private investigators told The Sunday Times that out of every 10 cases they handle in which a spouse cheats, about half are because the wife strayed from the marriage.

    A decade ago, only two to three out of the 10 unfaithful parties were the wives. And 20 or 30 years ago, an adulterous wife being cited in divorce proceedings was quite unheard of, they added.

    Lawyer and former Member of Parliament Ellen Lee said that back then, divorce was not an easy option as women were financially dependent on their husbands.

    Divorce was also less socially accepted. “If a woman committed adultery in the past, she would have been condemned and ostracised by society for breaking up her family and bringing shame to them. The condemnation is not as strong now,” she said.

    There also appeared to be acceptance of men having a mistress and that this was something wives had to tolerate, she added.

    But that has been changing, with more women becoming financially independent, educated, assertive and vocal, said lawyers, private investigators and counsellors.

    Counsellor Jonathan Siew said: “In the past, women were expected to sacrifice for their families. But now, there is a greater sense of individualism. Women are less afraid and more willing to pursue their own needs, compared with their mothers’ generation.”

    There are also opportunities to fall for another man at work or through social media, lawyers said of the cases they handled.

    And contrary to popular perception, unfaithful wives are not only found among professionals and corporate types, or white-collar or higher-income earners. They come from all walks of life, including housewives and low-wage earners, and many have children.

    Lawyer Louis Lim tells of a client, a hawker’s assistant in her 40s, who was physically abused by her husband. The mother of two teenage daughters fell for a man who delivered vegetables to her stall and filed for divorce.

    While most of the women in divorce cases handled by the private investigators and lawyers were in their 30s and 40s, there were also grandmothers in their 50s who strayed. Private investigator Raymond Lim had such a case. A woman in her 50s, who runs a small shop, had an affair with a businessman. The pair would have meals and check into budget hotels almost weekly.

    And there are key differences between men and women when it comes to affairs.

    For one thing, an unfaithful woman is more likely than a man to end the marriage, said counsellors and lawyers.

    In their opinion, this is because women do not necessarily seek an extramarital affair. They may have been unhappy in their marriage, till someone comes along and offers them the emotional intimacy they find lacking in their marriage.

    Said Mr Siew: “When women cheat, they are, to some extent, already thinking of divorce. So they allow themselves to go into the affair, which they see as a long-term commitment.”

    This is unlike men, who often want to keep the other woman on the side for a variety of reasons.

    Lawyer Koh Tien Hua said: “Some men see sex outside of marriage as no big deal and just as a matter of sexual release. Or they may have an emotional attachment – but one that is not strong enough for them to leave their wives.”

    So it is rare to see women who are “serial” adulterers, unlike some men who have one affair after another, lawyers said.

    That is not to say there are no women who “go around shopping for better husbands”, lawyer Ellen Lee said.

    The wife of one of her clients cheated on him repeatedly. The man forgave her time and again for the sake for their two young daughters. But after her fourth affair, he decided enough was enough and filed for a divorce.

    Between 2004 and 2014, based on data from the Department of Statistics (DOS), 1.3 per cent to 2.1 per cent of those who filed for divorce under the Women’s Charter cited adultery as the main reason.

    Of this group, between 27 per cent and 34 per cent were husbands who claimed their wives had been unfaithful, the DOS explained when asked about data obtained from the Statistics of Marriages and Divorces.

    Lawyers said official data from the courts does not reflect the reality of what they observe – which is that between a third and half the divorces they handle involve one cheating spouse.

    But few cite adultery as grounds for divorce as that requires evidence of an affair, and the third party must be named in divorce papers.

    So most choose to cite unreasonable behaviour instead.

    This is also because it can be costly to hire a private investigator to gather evidence. It costs between $5,000 and $8,000 for one week of surveillance.

    Adultery is also seen as shameful. So the offending party tends to negotiate with the spouse not to cite adultery as the reason, said lawyer Malathi Das.

     

    Source: www.straitstimes.com

  • Disapproving Family And Distance Could Not Stop This Malay Abang And Chinese Gf From Getting Married

    Disapproving Family And Distance Could Not Stop This Malay Abang And Chinese Gf From Getting Married

    Nizam encountered a lot of difficulties while dating his Chinese partner, Margaret. From her parents disapproving their relationship to Margaret being sent overseas, the couple have gone through multiple ups and downs together but are now married and have a 5-year-old daughter.

    This is his entry for the contest:

    “My name is Nizam and I’m 26 years old this year and I’m married to a Chinese girl, her name is Margaret Soh, she is 23 this year.

    “We have a daughter name Nurshiyumie and it sounds like Japanese name.

    “So our love story started in 2008. When I knew this girl (my wife) I was only 18 years old. She was chubby, innocent and full of fun. She always smiles.

    “We dated for couple of months. We were so happy. I never felt so much happiness before I knew this girl.

    “Her laughter brings hope in my life. But the good times did not last and we got a serious dose of parental disapproval and judgmental side-eyes from our relatives.

    “When her parents got to know that she was dating me, a Malay guy that had nothing, they sent her overseas to avoid me seeing her.

    “My heart broke into pieces. I called her every night when she was overseas to hear her voice.

    “I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep. It was like the world was ending.

    “She tried to escape from there and wanted to come back here, but she failed.

    “Her relative kept away her passport and she actually tried to commit suicide.

    “My mind went blank, my heart was aching, it felt like millions of needle poking through my heart, I felt like dying.

    “After a month of being separated, she finally came back to Singapore.

    “She ran away from her family. She called me immediately and I told her to come to my office.

    “I was so happy. No words could describe how happy I was.

    “When I saw she came out from a car, we ran to each other and I gave her a tight hug.

    “Later as we predicted she was reported missing.

    “Eight months of wanted life. Nothing can describe how grateful I am to have a girlfriend like her staying by my side when I really had nothing.

    “She cried awake every night, having nightmares and was traumatized.

    “I didn’t know what to do. What I thought of is to have a family with her, to take care her for life.

    “Since her parents couldn’t do anything, I held her tight, held her and I made a vow to make her my wife and take care of her until the day I was gone.

    “We planned to have a kid. I ask her ‘Will you marry me and have a kid with me?’

    “She cried and held me tight. She was willing to marry me, give me her future and trust me.

    “Time flies and she finally got pregnant. We were so happy and excited.

    “We went back to look for our families. She converted to Islam.

    “Her willingness made the decision to convert to Islam easier, it’s not about race. It’s about initiative and finally we were married, she put her trust all on me.

    “She moved to my parents place. We had to sleep on the floor in the living room where there is no more room for us.

    “All was occupied by my sibling. But she did not even complain with her pregnant stomach.

    “Because she knew she chose this path with me.

    “Until she given birth to our previous baby girl, she was natural birth.

    “Looking at her enduring the pain alone, the pain, the look on her face and she sleeps on the floor when she need to stand up to go toilet.

    “Sometimes I even saw she cry in the middle of the night. I try my best take care my little sweetheart when she was about few months old.

    “I try my best to balance out NS and home. No family support.

    “Sometimes, we even have to share one packet of rice together.

    “At this point of time, I cannot afford luxury for her. But finally she achieved her dream as a makeup artist.

    “Things went smoothly, finally my baby girl is 5-years-old this year.

    “I have taken a course and work at a better benefit company.

    “I tell myself I am so happy and lucky to have this girl as my wife.

    “I want to give her everything, no matter what it takes, I will give her all that I can.

    “She deserves all the love from me, my daughter and my wife. No one can replace them.

    “We have gone through ups and downs. We love, we cry, we fight.

    “Now we celebrate Chinese New Year and Hari Raya together.

    “Our daughter look so cute wearing baju kurung and Chinese qi pao.

    “Just to share with you, love does not only mean the race or religion.

    “Don’t be judgmental toward inter racial love, its about compromising. We need to understand that true love takes time and effort to dismiss all obstacles among us. Race is just a race. Religion is religion.

    “All that matters is that those involved are willing to make the sacrifices necessary to be together.

    “Compromise each other. Time flies and we both know that we want to spend the rest of our lives together.

    “I love you my wife and I will take care of you and your family forever.

    “I don’t encourage people to follow us, but I hope in this world there will be more true love relationships, inter racial love because only love can hurt like this.”

     

    Source: http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg

  • A True Malay Love Story – My Family Finally Accepted My Ex-Convict Boyfriend I Met Through Tagged

    A True Malay Love Story – My Family Finally Accepted My Ex-Convict Boyfriend I Met Through Tagged

    Nurul Ain’s family did not approve of her relationship with her then-boyfriend Hermanto, but they showed them that their love can conquer it all.

    She shared the story of how they met and got married for Stomp’s love story contest:

    “It all started when I just had a bad day at work, posting all the unnecessary shoutout on Tagged

    “Yes!! Tagged… a website where most of us have it and always think that girls/guys in Tagged are useless… but nevertheless, ‘HE’ private messaged me and tried to cool me down, he gave me words full of encouragement, and he melted me!!:)

    “We talked all day and night, and when it was time, we arranged a day to meet up.

    “It all went well and he told me everything! yes… everything!! From ex-convict to divorce and his family background,so did I.

    “I was scared he might not want to contact me after all that we have shared, but I was wrong:)

    “We got closer and closer! 🙂 We went through so many ups and downs.

    “Financial was the worse situation. He had no shelter at that point of time (due to some miscommunication and family hatred).

    “To cut the story short, on Dec 2014 he was sentenced to 8 months in prison, and I had to go through HELL!!

    “Because we weren’t married yet but we already have a rental house and I’m unemployed, I have to struggle to look for financial assistance. But at last I managed,and also found a job!!

    “I visited him on my every day off @ AWP, until one day I was admitted due to too much stress and dehydration.

    “Yet I pulled through… Well,my family still disapproves my marriage with him cause of his background.

    “But after all, people make mistakes and they still deserve a second chance to stand up and be happy! YES I waited for him until the day when he was released.

    “I made up my mind that I wanted to stay with him and ignore all those nagging and negative responses.

    “We were so happy until my parent want to see us. YES we did, and ALLAH listened to my prayer, WE WERE GETTING MARRIED!

    “It’s not easy though, we have been through a lot (some are not stated).

    “130615 is the day we were legally husband and wife, and thank god, with all those guidance, my family has accepted him and we are happy now!!:)”

     

    Source: http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg