Tag: respect

  • Respect Singapore: Actions Of #WearWhite Against Pink Dot Sg Is  Petty

    Respect Singapore: Actions Of #WearWhite Against Pink Dot Sg Is Petty

    If you are preparing to be part of the #WearWhite movement today, please consider this.

    If you are a Christian, how did you feel when, on your Good Friday, the Dallas-Fort Worth atheist group sent an email to 50 pastors with the words “God is Dead, Have a Good Friday”?

    If you are a Muslim, how did you feel when, during your Ramadan, Alvin Tan posted a photo of pork rib soup with the words “Happy Breaking Fast”?

    If you are conservative or religious, how would you feel if, during your celebration of your events or festivals, counter-events or processions are organized challenging your beliefs or criticizing your faith?

    Standing up for what you believe in is one thing, doing so on the one day out of an entire year that the LGBT choose to gather as a community is another thing altogether. Call it what you will, but it’s really a form of picketing. It’s antagonistic, petty, unnecessary.

    Just for one day, let the LGBT be. Be a bigger person than your organizers. Let the LGBT be happy and, if possible, be happy for and celebrate with them. The same way they (and we) are happy when we celebrate your festivals with you.

    Congratulations and best of luck, #PinkDotSG. I’m sorry I can’t be there today as I am abroad. But I will wear pink. And I will always support your freedom to love.

    #PinkDot2015 #FreedomToLove #WhereLoveLivesSG

     

    Source: Respect Singapore

  • Sabah Quake Aftermath: What I Feel And Why It Is So Important To Us

    Sabah Quake Aftermath: What I Feel And Why It Is So Important To Us

    I know that to many Westerners, to those who claim to live in much civilised societies, and to those who staunchly vouch for a modern and ‘progressive’ mode of thought and action, ancestral beliefs and practices are shunned, dismissed, and laughed off as a marker of backwardness as well as ridiculous superstitions that should not have place in our modern world.

    In certain instances, this is true. But in this particular instance, I beg to differ.

    Undoubtedly, others have considered the cause of tremors that shook our beloved Sabah from three primary angles – cultural and spiritual; scientific and logical; and religious.

    I could – though with much less articulation – convey my thoughts on the last two angles. But, here, I’d like to appeal to the angle that touches the hearts of all Sabahans no matter their creed and colour – the sacredness of Mount Kinabalu.

    I am Dusun, though I sometimes jokingly refer to myself as an ‘Orchard’ (the English equivalent that does not capture the essence of who we are as peoples), because I am among those who do not speak the native tongue.

    Yet still, though I lack the oral knowledge, my elders made sure that the youngsters in our family would still be connected to our roots, and they do this via storytelling the various myths and legends that surround our mountain.

    To us – and Sabahans in general – the mountain is not simply a peak to be conquered.

    She is ‘Aki Nabalu’, which means “the revered place of the dead”. But I prefer the description my grandma – a mother widowed at a young age – told a young me as she looked longingly towards the mountain,

    “The place where your grandpa has his holidays as he looks down over us to see if we’re okay.”

    And this isn’t something we, as a cultural group, and collectively as the peoples of Sabah, consider as merely folktale.

    The Dusuns are the ancestral guardians of the mountain, and part of how we still uphold that role, even in times of modernity, is to observe the practices that our ancestors have put in place in order to safeguard Aki’s sanctity.

    But we are not selfish people. We want others to be able to bask in pride at her majestic stature, and marvel at her beauty.

    So, we allow you in. We allow you to scale towards the top of the mountain.

    But in return, we too, ask you to respect her.

    Respect her for what she represents, and what she means to those whose lives, histories, and identities are so closely bound to hers.

    When you – and I point to the group of ignorant tourists in this photo, and to those in the future who harbour perverse thoughts of ‘raping’ Aki’s dignity – I am going to tell you, that when you chose to perform such a degrading and uncivilised act, you smeared mud and dirt over the faces of not only the Dusuns, but the millions of Sabahans who love Aki as much as her guardians do.

    You did not merely offend, but you spat, and you stomped on our faces.

    But most insultingly, you mocked our heritage.

    You defiled Aki so proudly.

    And now, as of today, she is forever deformed.

    Disfigured.

    Though Aki is ‘broken’, and we are saddened, angry, and frustrated, but we are not broken in spirit.

    We won’t give you that satisfaction.

    PS: I have always put off climbing the mountain with the excuse that she’s never going anywhere. Even the fact that my father and mother, who’ve climbed the mountain approximately 7 and 5 times respectively, was not enough to spur me on. Now, Aki is still standing, but the fact that her physicality has been altered, I feel that when I do climb her in the future, she won’t be exactly the same. *cries*

    PPS: If there are those who think that I am essentially saying the cause of the tremor is caused only by the indecent act, then I have to clarify that that was not my intention. As I mentioned earlier, there are three angles – culture, science, and religion – that people posit to give reason to the tremors. And these three angles can be complementary, they can be exclusive of one another, or they can be in contradiction with one another – depending on the individual. For instance, I relate to all three angles and do not find them in conflict as they appeal to myself:

    Culturally: Because I am Dusun and Sabahan.
    Scientifically: Because I also follow objective reasoning and logic.
    Religious: Because I am Muslim.

    But, like I also stated in the post, I chose to appeal to the cultural angle more because that angle I feel is the anchor and tie that bonds Sabahans best in this matter. This is because the scientific does not appeal to our emotional subjectivities that result from our culture, and the religious could exclude those who (do not) believe in certain faiths.

    I hope this clears things up.

     

    Source: Farhana Abdul Fatah

  • Teaching Your Kids To Respect Other Cultures

    Teaching Your Kids To Respect Other Cultures

    One of my daughters and her husband recently adopted my precious and beautiful grandson. He is from the mountain aboriginal people of Taiwan. His beautiful black hair, long legs and broad shoulders are amazingly like his daddy’s.  But his bronze skin is very different from that of my three-year-old granddaughter’s, who when she saw a picture of her new baby cousin said, “He looks funny.”

    We are all different yet…

    There will come a time when your children will be exposed to children and adults from other countries and continents. Their color, dress, habits and language will be different than what they consider normal.

    These cultural differences should not be viewed as embarrassing or inappropriate by you. Instead you should view their questions as an opportunity to broaden their horizons and educate them on the differences that make us all unique and special.

    …the same

    It is important to teach your children that though their skin may be lighter or darker than the child sitting behind them, they are both very much alike in the fact that they both need to be loved, both need to be treated with kindness and respect and both enjoy doing all the things kids love to do.

    It is important that you teach your children that cultural diversity is not a reason to exclude, demean or even bully someone. A child in Singapore is a child throughout the world.

    Experience is the best teacher

    When it comes to understanding and being comfortable with cultural differences, the best thing you can do is to give your children a variety of cultural experiences. This can be done by:

    • Visiting exhibits and various cultural events such as festivals and ceremonies
    • Eating a variety of foods favored in other countries
    • Reading about different places or origin and cultures of people you and your children come in contact with
    • Befriend the parents of children from other cultures in your child’s classroom, sports team or dance class
    • Focus on the similarities rather than the differences-help your child realize that different clothes, accents, etc. don’t change the fact that both children enjoy soccer or that both children struggle with spelling

    Set the bar

    In spite of the fact that our children test our patience and push our buttons, they look up to us. They mimic our attitudes and actions. So by being respectful and accepting of  people from all walks of life, we will be teaching our children to do the same.

     

    Source: http://sg.theasianparent.com

  • The Debate On Female Modesty – #SaveYourDaraCampaign Vs #LearnRespect

    The Debate On Female Modesty – #SaveYourDaraCampaign Vs #LearnRespect

    A lot of stupid things have been said in the great debate over women in this country, and you hear a lot of victim-blaming arguments from those who somehow believe that women need to restrict themselves to live safely in a society of supposedly dominant men. The idea that a woman must carry herself meekly or swaddle her body in “modest” clothing to avoid attracting male attention is ridiculous, and shows not only a lack of self-restraint but also a lack of respect for 50% of the world’s population.

    Thus, it’s understandable that outrage erupts over hare-brained ideas like a certain local magazine’s#SaveYourDaraCampaign.

    The effectiveness of campaigns like this one aside – it doesn’t work; ask the Christians, they’ve been trying it for ages – the major issue here is not the idea of abstinence-only sex education, as it looks to combat the social ills of baby dumping and illegitimate children. While teaching young women about contraception would arguably be a lot more effective than abstinence, we can see how it would be favourable in the eyes of the more puritan members of our society.

    The issue that everyone is up in arms about is that “a lot of importance was given to how we carry ourselves, how we dress to not arouse men,” according to one of the participants.

    Why is this a problem? It’s simple. This is victim-blaming at it’s most insidious level, subliminally suggesting to young women that the burden falls on them to control men’s sexual impulses by becoming meek, by dressing modestly or conservatively. It’s as if men are not physically or mentally capable of being in control of their own sexuality, and thus the women must limit theirs or face threats to their chastity. Not only is this idea demeaning to women, but also to men as it paints them as little more than lustful animals with no self-control, slaves to their impulses.

    Certainly, there are some men who buy into this way of thinking, populating online forums with proclamations against the dressing and behaviour of women in this day and age, screaming obscenities and graphically describing the sexual things they would do to those same women. This maladjusted community of disenfranchised men is more of a concern that needs to be addressed than#SaveYourDara, if we’re to be honest with ourselves.

    I am not condoning women who wear revealing clothes at all times. Civilized society does ask that we maintain a modicum of modesty after all, and a well-dressed woman is just as appealing as a seductively dressed lady. However, a woman should not be forced to deny her own sexuality and her right to dress as she pleases for fear that it be held against her in the facetious argument that she is “asking for it”. A woman does not necessarily dress up for men. It is not an open invitation for sexual advances or assault, and we need to come to terms with that fact as a society.

    The campaign we should be conducting is #LearnRespect.

    As men, we must learn to respect that women have the right to dress in ways that are appealing to them, whether conservative or not. We must respect that sex and all the pleasures that come with it are not owed to us in any way. It doesn’t matter if you bought her a RM1,000 necklace or took her to dinner at a 5-star restaurant. You are owed nothing, least of all a woman’s body.

    As men, we need to respect ourselves and learn self-restraint. We are not animals driven crazy by the mating instinct; we are in control of our every action and as such we must take responsibility for our mistakes, our lapses in judgement.

    Some will say that women too need to learn self-respect when it comes to their dressing and demeanour, and I will not argue the point as all of us need to learn to respect ourselves. But enough of blaming the victim whenever undesirable sexual situations arise. We need to be a better society than that, and teaching our young women, the hopes of our nation, that they must make themselves less for the sake of those who refuse to learn self-control is not the way forward for anyone.

     

    Source: www.freemalaysiatoday.com

  • Alfian Saat Reacts With Anger At The Attack On Charlie Hebdo Magazine

    Alfian Saat Reacts With Anger At The Attack On Charlie Hebdo Magazine

    What to say in the aftermath of the Charlie Hebdo massacre?

    A slogan floats–‘Je suis Charlie’–‘I am Charlie’–as a gesture of solidarity.

    As a Muslim it doesn’t feel enough–one is expected to also disclaim, disavow, denounce.

    “Je ne suis pas la violence”. “Je ne suis pas la terreur”.

    I am not violence. I am not terror.

    I used to feel uneasy about making such pronouncements, because surely anyone who is sensible enough can distinguish between the extremist sociopaths of a particular religion and all its other peaceful and law-abiding adherents. This time I’m too shocked, nauseated and anguished to even feel defensive. How dare we demand that others behave sensibly when something so senseless has been committed in the name of the religion?

    Because of these fuckers, I find myself feeling interrogated at immigration counters due to the ‘Bin’ in my name. Because of these pigs, I feel safer passing off as a clean-shaven ambiguous Southeast Asian while traveling in a European country. Because of these balaclava-ed sub-animals with shit for brains, the phrase ‘Allahu Akbar’ has become, in the popular imagination, more an obscene war-cry than an invocation of the sublime. (As if it has parted company with the serenity of ‘amituofo’, the cosmic vibration of ‘om’, the joy of ‘hallelujah’…)

    Some might argue that the staff at Charlie Hebdo had it coming for dabbling in what Muslims see as blasphemy. And Islam has a long tradition of aniconism, where visual depictions of the Prophet are forbidden. To me though, it is an impossible task to police every single visual portrayal; crass, vulgar, insulting or otherwise. So when I see the cartoons on Charlie Hebdo or Jyllands-Posten or Jack Chick’s tracts, what I see is a likeness of a man in a beard and turban–but it is not the Prophet (even if it is captioned such), because he resists representation. Or is there too much semiotic gymnastics involved in such an approach?

    There is a Malay saying–‘because of a single drop of indigo, the whole pot of milk is spoiled’. And I am afraid that the acts of a group of midnight-black gunmen has dragged us Muslims into their dusk. Islamophobes are now gleefully fondling their shiny new ammunition. Wind is puffing the sails of right-wing parties. There will be backlash. I really do not know what people are thinking when they say they are avenging God. This idea that God would need his puny creations to settle scores for Him–I find this to be a mockery of God and such arrogant blasphemy.