Rilek1Corner

Tag: ex-Muslim

  • Confession of an Ex-Muslim Lesbian

    murtad lesbian-muslim

    Greetings R1C,

    I have a confession to make. I was formerly a Muslim who was interested in girls. It starts because I was confused about myself. Ever since I was young, I know that I dun really like boys. I feel very strange when I look at the TV and see so many people kissing. I didnt understand why pretty girls would kiss boys. I never saw my mother kiss my father as they were divorced when I was very young.

    When I was growing up I also dun understand why my friends like to go out with boys. I felt very lonely and kept this to myself until later when I was in secondary school. In sec 4, I met this nice girl and that was when I had my first kiss with another girl. I felt at that time like I truly loved her. She meant a lot to me. I know that Islam says LGBT is wrong but nobody reminded me and all the religious teachers didnt really talk about LGBT. Most of the Muslim religious preachers were silent about the dangers of LGBT so I was not aware of how much sin and danger I was in.

    Anyway suddenly this girl disappeared and dun return my calls. I was so sad at that time. I saw her again 2 years later. I had been with a few other girls but broke up after another short term relationship. I asked her why she never returned my calls. She said that she had met this Pastor at her church. He was so wise and know so much about God and told her she was living in sin. I was at first unhappy and angry with him. When I first met him, I wanted to slap him. But he was very calm and listened to what I had to say.

    He then invited me to one of his sessions at his church. It was so different from the religious classes I went to in the part time madrasahs that I went to. They were so open and welcoming and loving and supportive. It was also quite fun and joyful with a lot of singing. When I saw him speak, I realized that I could actually love a man. I also met alot of new friends who pulled me away from the sinful LGBT lifestyle. I am forever grateful to him and the church for opening my heart to God and leading me away from my sinful lesbian lifestyle.

    Now I read about the wearwhite movement. Even though Ustaz Noor Deros may not be the pastor who converted me from my life of sin, I see that inside he is sincere, and this movement will attract people to turn away from homosexuality. Maybe if he was born earlier I could have left the LGBT lifestyle but remained a Muslim.

    I hope our Lord grant the Ustaz with the strength in battling the evils of homosexuality and unnatural lust, and grace him and his followers with the knowledge that the only true marriage in the eyes of God is between one man and one woman (I left Islam partly because of the fact that someone pointed out that they support polygamy, which is a slippery slope to gay marriage, bestiality and pedophilia.) But I am glad that there are church leaders like Pastor Lawrence Khong who are standing up together with the Muslims to protect our morality.

    Sincerely,
    Rebecca Maryam

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  • Singapore Muslim Youth Left Islam to Become Atheist

    murtad1

    Hi everyone, I’m a 20-year-old Atheist and former Muslim from Singapore. I’ll be withholding my real name to protect my identity.

    Like many other Muslims, I was raised while being taught Islamic values and attended Madrasah/Sunday school until I was 16. I didn’t wear a hijab/tudung or pray daily but I claimed I was proud to be a Muslim. I defended Islam online whenever it was under attack and ignored all the supposed evils of Islam brought up by people I debated. I looked down on people who left Islam and judged them for it. Now that I think about it, I was blinded by my love for the religion and I did not realise it.

    I first started questioning Islam and religion not long after I stopped attending Madrasah. I did not want to be a Muslim simply because Mummy told me so and because it just so happened I was born into Islam. I was at the age where most teens think about their place in life. I thought about my purpose. I read books on Philosophy which had chapters on God and the logical impossibility of his existence.

    The road to my apostasy was a slow process. I was a self-professed Agnostic for several years. I questioned Islam and religion in general, but I never outright denied the existence of the Muslim God. Looking back, I now see that I was too afraid to leave the religion. I believed in God just in case, as in Pascal’s wager. I didn’t realise back then that I had a 1 in 3000 chance of believing in the right God. After all, who’s to say Zeus doesn’t exist? Or Yahweh? How can Muslims know for sure that Allah is the one true God?

    murtad2

    I had an irrational fear that something horrible would happen to me once I apostatised. I blame Islam for this – from a very young age, Muslims are ingrained with the fear of Hell, the fear of a vengeful God and the idea that apostasy is unthinkable (God forbid!). That’s Islam for you, using fear as a tool to ensure submission.

    I eventually realised the concept of God is logically flawed. I read The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, whom I now look up to. I questioned further when I read the following Epicurus quote:

    “Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
    Then he is not omnipotent.
    Is he able, but not willing?
    Then he is malevolent.
    Is he both able and willing?
    Then whence cometh evil?
    Is he neither able nor willing?
    Then why call him God?”

    I also love using this argument as believers cannot answer it: If God is as great and merciful, then why does he condemn thinking men and women who question his existence to Hell for eternity (according to the Bible, Quran and Torah, etc)? Why are they condemned just for not bowing down to him, even those who were morally upright in their lifetimes? Is he that petty and narcissistic?

    6d545-budak-melayu-murtad

    The way I see it, if a God really does exist and if he’s everything people claim him to be, I have nothing to worry about. He would recognise that I am not a bad person despite the many mistakes I have committed. Today, I consider myself an Atheist and a Humanist. For those who are unaware, I quote: “Humanism is a progressive philosophy of life that, without supernaturalism, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity.”

    I also started to have issues with Islam. One of the things I don’t like about Islam is its treatment of women. Justify it all you want (just as I did back when I believed) but it degrades women. For example, I don’t agree with women having to cover themselves up and take the blame for inciting lust in men.

    When I was 19, I finally declared my Atheism and apostasy. I’m happier now that I no longer have a fear of God and Hell and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I don’t live to please God anymore. Basically, to me that’s all there is to it – we live then we die, so we might as well make the most of it. As of today, I strive to be a good person. You don’t have to believe in God to be morally upright. I knew I no longer had a reason to be afraid.

    Unfortunately, I remain in the closet. It’s especially difficult being an ex-Muslim Atheist. I doubt my family would be very happy to hear the news when I tell them in the future.

    To those of you who believe, do take a moment to question all you have been told. Do not have blind faith. I wish you all the best.

    Source: http://bit.ly/1fBtpFe