Confession of an Ex-Muslim Lesbian

murtad lesbian-muslim

Greetings R1C,

I have a confession to make. I was formerly a Muslim who was interested in girls. It starts because I was confused about myself. Ever since I was young, I know that I dun really like boys. I feel very strange when I look at the TV and see so many people kissing. I didnt understand why pretty girls would kiss boys. I never saw my mother kiss my father as they were divorced when I was very young.

When I was growing up I also dun understand why my friends like to go out with boys. I felt very lonely and kept this to myself until later when I was in secondary school. In sec 4, I met this nice girl and that was when I had my first kiss with another girl. I felt at that time like I truly loved her. She meant a lot to me. I know that Islam says LGBT is wrong but nobody reminded me and all the religious teachers didnt really talk about LGBT. Most of the Muslim religious preachers were silent about the dangers of LGBT so I was not aware of how much sin and danger I was in.

Anyway suddenly this girl disappeared and dun return my calls. I was so sad at that time. I saw her again 2 years later. I had been with a few other girls but broke up after another short term relationship. I asked her why she never returned my calls. She said that she had met this Pastor at her church. He was so wise and know so much about God and told her she was living in sin. I was at first unhappy and angry with him. When I first met him, I wanted to slap him. But he was very calm and listened to what I had to say.

He then invited me to one of his sessions at his church. It was so different from the religious classes I went to in the part time madrasahs that I went to. They were so open and welcoming and loving and supportive. It was also quite fun and joyful with a lot of singing. When I saw him speak, I realized that I could actually love a man. I also met alot of new friends who pulled me away from the sinful LGBT lifestyle. I am forever grateful to him and the church for opening my heart to God and leading me away from my sinful lesbian lifestyle.

Now I read about the wearwhite movement. Even though Ustaz Noor Deros may not be the pastor who converted me from my life of sin, I see that inside he is sincere, and this movement will attract people to turn away from homosexuality. Maybe if he was born earlier I could have left the LGBT lifestyle but remained a Muslim.

I hope our Lord grant the Ustaz with the strength in battling the evils of homosexuality and unnatural lust, and grace him and his followers with the knowledge that the only true marriage in the eyes of God is between one man and one woman (I left Islam partly because of the fact that someone pointed out that they support polygamy, which is a slippery slope to gay marriage, bestiality and pedophilia.) But I am glad that there are church leaders like Pastor Lawrence Khong who are standing up together with the Muslims to protect our morality.

Rebecca Maryam

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