As a Muslim, I have been called to ‘own’ the ISIS problem and apologise for it. I have been doing some soul-searching and i think those people do have a point.
So on behalf of all Muslims, i would like to apologize for ISIS.
But my soul-searching did not stop there. On top of being Muslim, i am also a male Singaporean of Indian descent who stays in Simei. And therefore, i have to apologize for more stuff i did not do.
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Donald Trump called Mexicans ‘rapists’. On behalf of all males, i apologise for his racism.
A former Nominated Member of Parliament from Singapore has urged the killing of children to stop terrorism. On behalf of all Singaporean males, i apologise for his stupidity.
Rick Santorum believes climate change (due to man-made activities) is a myth. On behalf of all males who may have told a lie or two before, i apologize for his ignorance.
The NTUC at Eastpoint Mall is located on the fifth floor, making it difficult for the elderly to make their purchases. On behalf of all residents of Simei, i apologise for this error in calculation.
Not too long ago, a group of apparently ‘drunk’ workers started a riot in Little Indian. As an Indian, i apologize for them drinking the alcohol.
I saw a guy beat the red light at the junction of Simei Street 3 and Simei Road some time
back. As a male, Singaporean, road-user, and resident of Simei, i apologize for his misdemeanour.
Sharon Au made a racist joke against Indians recently. As a Singaporean and product of the same education system, i apologize for her insensitivity (can you hear how ludicrous this sounds? An Indian apologizing for racism towards Indians is the same as Muslims apologizing for ISIS when most of its victims are Muslims).
President Obama has used extrajudicial drone strikes, which have inadvertently killed many innocent people. On behalf of all brown men everywhere, i apologise for his mistakes.
If there are any more problems that i can ‘own’, please do tell!
Source: Walid J. Abdullah
