Tag: Divorce

  • 38 Year Old Jobless PMET Divorced, Distressed

    38 Year Old Jobless PMET Divorced, Distressed

    Hi Gilbert,

    I truly need help I am feeling suicidal at times. My life has been a challenge since the beginning of my life. I try to get pass through by trying to compare myself to the less fortunate. I do not know how much longer I can hold on. I hope we can meet up and talk.

    I also hope you can publish the following at your site. Hopefully, there would be some like-minded readers who can provide some insight about my situation. If you can, please edit it for me.

    I am just stating facts and grieves of my life, if you want to be critical, please step out of your comfort zone and reply at a logical level. I am a true-blue Singaporean with roots as deep as 3 generations, aged 38.

    While in Secondary school, I started my working life sweeping the streets, literally. My single mom couldn’t afford to send me to a computer school after secondary school which was my interest. Thus, I have to work on school nights and weekends as a hotel cleaner from 11pm to 7am but that took a toll on my health and my education. Not to mention I had family issues. Unable to handle it, I dropped out of school, worked my way up slowly. After a few years of local jobs and my own business, I started my career in a multi-national company with rapid rise to management level. However, armed with only a O level cert, I could not get above $4.5k salary even though the role usually gets more, alot more.

    When I tried to get a new job, I couldn’t as I was not “educated” enough. I even remember when I went for an interview with a local hiring agency, the director of the company asked me why am I getting paid $4.5k with only a O level education. Moving forward, everyone wants to negotiate my salary dependent on my previously-earned salary.

    This would not happen in any other 1st world nation as they would not only look at your education only but your ability and the job role they offering as well. A culture only present in Singapore among developed nations!

    To SINGAPORE HR Folks : Does it really matter, what I drew in my previous role? Would you pay me a roadsweeper’s salary if I did 6 months of sweeping the roads as I cannot get employed? Staff remuneration should be based on the fact that what role you are offering, and a competitive remuneration to ensure retention.

    I stopped work so I can go after a Masters as a maturde candidate. I have passed my Masters without even taking a degree course. For those who are wondering, how?  I not ashamed to say I am pretty smart (Singapore Mensa tested at 142 IQ) and anyone I know would easily tell you I have pretty high E.Q. as well. I never needed to go to school to learn these stuff, I read or learn through life experiences and pretty much grasp almost anything.

    8 months have almost passed since completion of my Masters, and I still don’t have a job. I was even willing to take up non-IT roles as Condo Manager for $3k. Though I was able to impress in the interview, I was not offered a role. Only to find out later, that it was likely they were only willing to offer $2.8k for the position, which is the same they are willing to offer an inexperienced staff with diploma.

    I cannot get government jobs or government-related jobs which are advertised everyday, simply because I do not fit the profiled definition of a normal candidate.

    I have about $100k in the CPF unusable. I can’t afford a HDB, as I need to be employed and I cannot apply for BTO. Furthermore, I went through a divorce, I cannot get a HDB BTO home without waiting for 3 years after my divorce. I would be 39 by then, and by the time I get a home, I would be 45.

    I now sit in J.B. (Malaysia) still applying for jobs in Singapore while trying to figure out if I can start out on my own. Even trying to be an entrepreneur in Singapore is difficult, I cannot afford an office location. I cannot apply for grant for entrepreneurship as I have a previous company when I started my IT business. This is  restricting me from applying for a government grant under the entrepreneurship programme.

    All those people who support the current political administration, please tell me what is wrong with the picture? Am I not hardworking? Am I dependent on the government to spoon feed me? Am I too demanding?

    I am stressed to the extreme, though I don’t show it to people much. I still put up a fighting front, as no one likes a person who complaints too much. But it is getting to me, I needed an outlet.

    I need to know that there are also people like me who seep through the gap so I don’t feel so alone.

    Steve

     

    Source: www.transitioning.org

  • AMLA: New Rules To Be Implemented For Muslim Couples On Marriage And Divorce

    AMLA: New Rules To Be Implemented For Muslim Couples On Marriage And Divorce

    Muslim couples who are minors will have to attend a compulsory marriage preparation programme, while couples seeking a divorce also have to attend a marriage counselling programme, as part of a string of changes to the Administration of Muslim Law Act (AMLA) passed in Parliament on Tuesday (Aug 1).

    Muslims who are younger than 18 and want to get married must attend and complete a marriage preparation programme approved by the Ministry of Social and Family Development. These sessions are aimed at helping couples better understand, clarify and address any concerns that they and their families may have about marriage.

    They will also learn essential skills like how to build a stable marriage and family at marriage education workshops for the minor couples to learn essential skills and knowledge to build a stable marriage and family.

    Parents of these couples, who will now also be required to give consent to the marriage, are also encouraged to be involved in such sessions. Previously, only the consent of the wali, the lawful guardian for the marriage of a Muslim woman, is required.

    Muslim marriage numbers are on the rise, while minor marriages – where at least one party was below 21 years at the time of marriage – have been in “steady decline.” Divorce rates have also remained stable.

    Nevertheless, Minister-in-charge of Muslim Affairs Dr Yaacob Ibrahim pointed out that minor marriages are more “vulnerable”. Citing the trend of Muslim marriages involving younger grooms, the recent marriage cohorts have seen one and a half times the divorce rate compared to older grooms, he said.

    “This move thus reinforces the importance of parents’ or guardians’ support in a minor marriage as their guidance, especially in the crucial initial years of the marriage, is critical to help younger couples build strong marriage foundations for a lifetime,” said Dr Yaacob.

    To provide greater support for divorcing Muslim couples, they will be required to first attend the Syariah Court’s Marriage Counselling Programme, before seeking a divorce, so as to see if the marriage can be saved.

    About 64 per cent of divorce cases in the last five years involved at least one child of the marriage under 21 years old, with more than 85 per cent of these involving at least one child under 14 years.

    Since the Syariah Court introduced the programme in 2004, over 33,000 couples have been counselled, and almost half of these marriages have been saved, said Dr Yaacob.

    If the couples decide to go ahead with the divorce, this programme will provide the platform to discuss care and living arrangements for their children, while counsellors on hand can refer them to other services like financial assistance or education support for school-going children.

    The Syariah Court will also have the power to refer parties for further counselling or a family support programme at any stage of their divorce proceedings.

    For instance, it can order a registered medical practitioner, psychologist, counsellor, social worker, or mental health professional to examine and assess the child.

    The AMLA covers the three public agencies – the Islamic Religious Council of Singapore (MUIS), the Registry of Muslim Marriages (ROMM) and the Syariah Court – dedicated to implement and administer the provisions of the Act.

    The AMLA was last amended in 2008 to strengthen these key institutions, as well as to improve the quality of life for the Muslim community in Singapore.

    Several amendments were also made to enhance the management of Muslim assets, most notably the wakafs (Muslim endowments) and the Mosque Building and Mendaki Fund (MBMF).

    In 2017, MUIS disbursed $3.1 million of the revenue generated from wakafs to various beneficiaries such as mosques, madrasahs, and Muslim organisations. This amount is nearly 3 per cent more, or about $90,000, compared to the previous year.

    Of the total disbursement, more than $1.52 million was channelled to 27 mosques to help fund upgrading projects and to support mosque programmes.

    “All these are a result of MUIS’ management of the wakafs, which include careful planning to ensure maximisation of wakaf returns, and attracting good tenants for wakaf properties…We must continue to ensure that the wakafs are well managed so as to maximise their potential,” said Dr Yaacob.

    To enable MUIS to better safeguard against the mismanagement of wakafs, there will be expanded grounds under the AMLA to which a trustee or mutawalli (those appointed to manage the wakaf) can be removed. For instance, when a mutawalli fails to furnish information or particulars as required by MUIS, or fails to allow MUIS’ inspection of wakaf properties, accounts, and records. This is to ensure greater transparency and clarity, and to allow for more timely intervention.

    Current provisions enable MUIS to do so when it appears that the wakaf has been mismanaged, or if there have been no trustees appointed. However, for these conditions to be met, the wakaf “might already be in jeopardy”, explained Dr Yaacob.

    Additionally, the appointment of a new trustee to a wakaf will be void unless there is MUIS’ prior approval in writing, so that MUIS can ensure that the individuals appointed as trustees are qualified to manage the wakaf.

    A court must also not entertain or proceed with any proceedings relating to the appointment or removal of wakaf trustees and mutawallis, as it will fall on parties to work with MUIS to such matters.

    MUIS will also be able direct a portion of the income of the wakaf towards a sinking fund, primarily for the upkeep and development ofthe wakaf , such as repairs or installation works.

    Citing how many of the trust deeds of older wakafs do not specifically address long-term upkeep of the wakaf, including that of the creation of a sinking fund to maintain it for the long run, Dr Yaacob said that such properties often fall into disrepair given the lack of sufficient savings or reserves.

    Lastly, he reiterated that the MBMF can be tapped for the purchase of new or additional land or property for existing and future mosques, as well as for the building or maintenance works of any religious education premises or facilities.

    Wrapping up his speech, Dr Yaacob said: “The amendments we are proposing today seek to better protect Muslim families because they are the very building blocks of a strong and resilient community.We want to reinforce our institutions so that they are effective in serving the community.”

    He added: “We want to enhance the management of our assets so that the community continues to benefit from them and prosper.”

     

    Source: http://www.todayonline.com

  • Man Angry With Estranged Wife Bantai Children, Sentenced To 4-Months Jail

    Man Angry With Estranged Wife Bantai Children, Sentenced To 4-Months Jail

    A father hit his young children with a fabric belt and even held an ignited lighter near them.

    The 33-year-old father of five did it because he had insisted his children were not telling him the truth about his estranged wife’s whereabouts.

    The man, who cannot be named to protect the identities of the children, had lost contact with his wife after she left the flat in Boon Lay some time before January last year.

    Yesterday, the unemployed man was sentenced to four months’ jail for two counts of ill-treating his 10- year-old son and nine-year-old daughter.

    He was also jailed for a day and fined $1,000 for a separate offence of stealing $41 worth of cigarettes from a minimart in Boon Lay.

    Four other charges – ill-treating his 10 year-old son, causing hurt to the boy’s stepmother and two counts of dishonest misappropriation of property – were considered in sentencing.

    Deputy Public Prosecutor Sarah Ong said the abuse happened on Jan 29 last year. The accused was home with four of his children when he asked the victims if they had any information about his estranged wife. Both said they did not.

    He became angry, accused them of lying and grabbed a folded fabric belt to hit his son.

    The boy was struck on the shoulder and was in pain, but his father continued to hit him as he tried to dodge the blows. In all, the boy was struck about 10 times all over his body. The man then turned to his daughter and hit her about five times with the same belt.

    Later, the accused approached his son with an ignited lighter and held it near the boy’s left arm. It was close enough for the boy to feel the heat.

    The man did this while quizzing his son about his wife’s whereabouts, and also did the same thing to his daughter.

    When his daughter cried and said she was not lying, he kept the lighter and walked away.

    Multiple bruises were found on both children, with red marks on the boy’s arms and chest.

    The accused also stole cigarettes on April 17 last year at 4.13am.

    His jail term will start after the expiry of his current sentence of three years and six months for taking drugs.

    The accused could have been fined up to $4,000 and/or jailed for up to four years on each charge of ill-treating a child which caused the child unnecessary physical pain.

    The maximum penalty for theft in dwelling is seven years’ jail and a $30,000 fine.

     

    Source: www.straitstimes.com

  • Ex-Husband Never Pay Maintenance, Jobless Single Mother Faces Daunting Prospect Of Losing House

    Ex-Husband Never Pay Maintenance, Jobless Single Mother Faces Daunting Prospect Of Losing House

    A single mum with two grown-up children – one in university and the other in polytechnic wrote in to us about the compulsory acquisition of her 3-room flat by HDB.

    She owes HDB about $33,000 in mortgage rent or about 3 years equivalent. Each month her rent is $600.

    Her ex-husband also did not fulfill his maintenance obligation and has since declared himself bankrupt.

    The single mum used to earn $3600 working in a 4-star hotel in her hay days but her last drawn pay has dwindled to below $2000 creating all kinds of livelihood problem.

    She is currently jobless for the past few months and was dismissed from her job due to depression over the matter.

    Single mum seems to be in the public picture of late as they struggle to take care of their kids and try to make ends met.

    Its a tough preposition for them if the ex-spouse fails to play their part by delaying the maintenance payment or worse declare themselves bankrupt to get a downward variation.

    We only pray that once the house is acquired by HDB they could get a cheaper rental unit from HDB and not owe HDB any more back debts which will only deepen their family crisis.

    My heart goes out to the two growing-up children who are still studying in tertiary institutions. It will be a very stressful period for them too…

     

    Source: Gilbert Goh

  • 34 Year Old Mother Of Four Struggling After Divorce, Pleads For Financial Assistance

    34 Year Old Mother Of Four Struggling After Divorce, Pleads For Financial Assistance

    Madam Shireen is a 34 years old mother of 4 kids, 2 boys are her own, while the other 2 girls are left to her care due to their own broken family left behind by their own parents. She also has a mother whom she’s the only caregiver full time, and thus she’s unable to find work that’s too far away.

    Her trouble arises when she’s unable to service her mortgage loan from the bank, which runs to arrears of $11k plus and she was issued with a Writ of Possession against her to vacant her one and only place call home.

    Besides the housing loan, Madam Shireen still owes the Town Council about $500 plus, and PUB about $1000 plus.

    Her husband walked out on the family last year, after being physically abusive towards her. She is currently on a Personal Protection Order against her husband, thus she can only fend for herself. She was left alone to work and support the family as a convenience store shift leader previously.

    Madam Shireen had to stop working in 2012 when her mother had contracted high fever and was left in a coma. Her other siblings were not able to help and the role of the caregiver fell onto Madam Shireen’s shoulders. She still cares for her mother up till today, and constantly shuttles between her home and her mother’s place.

    When they bought the flat previously, they have no clue that the loan was under bank loan and not HDB. Madam Shireen tried to seek assistance to refinance her home with HDB but was rejected due to eligibility.

    It has come to a stage that her children are going to school without any pocket money, and she’s seeking help from Social Service Office, which they are still processing.

    All Madam Shireen want is for her to tie through these tough times and she’s concurrently looking for home based job where she can earn some money for her to continue her life. She loves her children very much, and all she wants is to provide for them to have a shelter over their head. The children are innocent and they should not be suffering together with her.  She’s feeling helpless and hopeless, and we hope to bring some light into her life by donating to her generously to help her tie through and no amount is too small. Please also help to share Madam Shireen’s story, as these are cases that’s fallen through the cracks in our society.

    For direct tranfer, Mdm Reen Account Number

    Posb Savings

    170-49122-0

    or

    You can get in touch with me at

    contact email

    [email protected]

    Sincerely,

    Lauretta

     

    Source: https://give.asia