Tag: abuse

  • 13 Year Old Adik Greatest Wish? To Break Fast With His Mother

    13 Year Old Adik Greatest Wish? To Break Fast With His Mother

    Ahmad is like many other 13-year-olds.

    He is bold, boisterous and is optimistic in a way only a young person can be.

    But his greatest wish is to break fast with his mother.

    For the second year in a row, he is spending Ramadan away from her.

    It is only when this subject was raised that we saw a change in the boy.

    “I’m quite jealous when I see some of the residents go out and break their fast with their family members,” Ahmad told The New Paper, with notable sadness.

    Ahmad (not his real name) has spent more than a year at Pertapis Children’s Home.

    According to Mr Sophian Kayat, the head of the home, Ahmad and his older brother were placed in the home’s care in March last year after a court order to protect them.

    Their mother had been abused by Ahmad’s stepfather.

    She stays in a separate welfare home.

    I’m quite jealous when I see some of the residents go out and break their fast with their family members.

    — Ahmad

    When Ahmad was first admitted to the home, he understood why he was being separated from his mother, but it was still hard.

    “Ahmad is close to his mother so when he was first admitted here, he was moody and easily agitated,” said Ahmad’s case manager, Miss Hamidah Otheman, 25.

    “It took him three to four months before he was able to deal with his emotions and settle into life in the welfare home,” she added.

    Ahmad described last year’s fasting month: “I was very sad because it was the first time that I was fasting away from my mother.

    “This year, it’s better because I’m already used to it and I have friends here.”

    Ahmad breaking fast with some donors.
    BREAKING FAST: Ahmad breaking fast with donors. The donors had sponsored the food that day.

    When TNP visited the home in Kovan, Ahmad was having his school holidays.

    He and the other children at the home clamoured to play games during their morning break.

    During the school holidays, the children are allowed to play from 7.30am to 9am.

    He loves to play football. The home has a small field — about a quarter the size of a normal football field.

    “I support Chelsea and Fernando Torres is my favourite player,” he shared between kicks towards an old goalpost.

    A young resident at the home looking on as Ahmad and his friends play football.
    OBSERVING: A young resident at the home looking on as Ahmad and his friends play football.

    Even though Ahmad is away from his mother, but he does not complain about the home.

    In fact, he credits the home for helping him to get through the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE), which he took last year.

    “The tuition and the support programmes that they have helped to push my grades up and I was able to pass my PSLE,” he said.

    Ahmad doing his worksheets which were given to him by the home.
    PRACTICE: Ahmad practicing the worksheets which were given to him by the home.

    “I want to study hard and get into polytechnic and study aerospace engineering,” said the secondary school student.

    “I heard that there are a lot of jobs as an aerospace engineer.”

    This is more than personal ambition. He wants to be able to give back to the welfare home.

    “Maybe in the future, I can sponsor an event for them or maybe make an activity programme for them,” he said.

    Ahmad is close to his mother, so when he was first admitted here, he was moody and was easily agitated.

    — Miss Hamidah Otheman, Ahmad’s case manager at Pertapis

    But for now, all he wants is to be reunited with his mother.

    According to Mr Sophian, Ahmad’s wish may be granted in the near future.

    He says that the next stage for Ahmad is to spend and extended home leave with his mother.

    “So long as safety is not compromised, we should be heading towards reunification.”

     

    Source: www.tnp.sg

  • Father Of Abused Toddler, Daniel: I Never Got To See My Son Alive

    Father Of Abused Toddler, Daniel: I Never Got To See My Son Alive

    He was in prison when his son was born.

    Day after day, he counted down the days to when he could hold his boy in his arms.

    But when Mr Mohamad Nasser Abdul Gani could finally do that, it was too late.

    The only time he got to hold Mohamad Daniel Mohamad Nasser was when he was about to bury him.

    His son died on Nov 23 last year, about a month before his third birthday, after 25 days of sustained abuse by his mother, Zaidah, 41, and her live-in boyfriend, Zaini Jamari, 46.

    Choking back tears, Mr Nasser, 41, told The New Paper yesterday: “I never got to see him alive.

    “The only time I held him in my arms, he was a lifeless corpse.”


    Mr Mohamad Nasser Abdul Gani. TNP PHOTO: JEREMY LONG

    He said he had spent 18 months behind bars from December 2012 to June 2014 for drug-related offences.

    Two months before he went in, Mr Nasser was informed by Zaidah, whom he had married in Batam and later divorced, that she was pregnant with his child.

    A few weeks into his sentence, Mr Nasser said an officer asked him to sign a document, which informed him that he was the father to a boy named Daniel.

    This gave him something to look forward to after serving his time.

    “I told myself that I would find my son after I got out,” said Mr Nasser, who works as a cleaner.

    LONG SEARCH

    But after his release, he found out that Zaidah was no longer living at her old address.

    Making it his top priority to find Daniel, Mr Nasser reached out to Zaidah’s friends, tried all possible phone numbers he could think of and even visited places he thought she might frequent.

    A year of searching yielded no results. None of his friends or acquaintances knew where Zaidah and Daniel were.


    Mohamad Daniel Mohamad Nasser died about a month before his third birthday. PHOTO: ABDU MANAF AL ANSARI

    Frustrated by each failed attempt to find his boy, he started losing hope of ever meeting Daniel.

    Mr Nasser, who has two older children from a previous marriage, said: “I was not even given a chance to meet my own son.

    “I did everything I could, but they could not be found anywhere. I thought that I would never see or hear about Daniel ever again.”

    About five months later, on the evening of Nov 26 last year, he finally got news about his son. It was a call from a police officer, who asked if he had a son named Daniel.

    Mr Nasser excitedly said yes, thinking that after more than two years, they would finally get to meet. But what he thought was good news brought his world crashing down.

    The officer told him the heartbreaking news that Daniel had died after being abused.

    “I did not even get to see Daniel alive, and now they called me to identify his dead body,” Mr Nasser said.

    Putting aside his anguish, Mr Nasser went to the mortuary the next day and saw his son for the first time.

    It left him in tears.

    CUTS AND BRUISES

    “There were cuts and bruises everywhere on his tiny body,” he said.

    “It broke my heart to look at him, my own flesh and blood, knowing that he had been hurt and tortured so badly.”

    Mr Nasser collected Daniel’s body on Nov 30.

    It was to be the first and last day that he would get to hold his son.

    That same afternoon, he and seven of his family members buried Daniel.


    Mr Mohamad Nasser Abdul Gani (extreme right) with his family members at the burial site of his son. PHOTO: ABDU MANAF AL ANSARI

    His brother, Mr Abdu Manaf Al Ansari, said that though they did not get to know Daniel, the family loved him and wanted to make sure he was given the proper last rites.

    “We are the paternal side that Daniel could have grown up with,” he told The New Paper.

    “Daniel was not an outcast, not from a broken family. He had a good family, only that he was denied true love from us.”

    Asked what he would have told his son if he were still alive, Mr Nasser broke down before saying he would have promised Daniel that he would be the best father possible.

    “He was my own son, I did not get to do anything for him, did not get to hold him, or tell him that I love him,” he said.

    “I would have given anything for the opportunity to take care of him.”

    I did not even get to see Daniel alive, and now they called me to identify his dead body.

    – Mr Mohamad Nasser Abdul Gani

    We are the paternal side that Daniel could have grown up with. Daniel was not an outcast, not from a broken family. He had a good family, only that he was denied true love from us.

    – Daniel’s uncle, Mr Abdu Manaf Al Ansari

     

    Source: www.tnp.sg

  • ISIS Uses Birth Control To Maintain Rapes

    ISIS Uses Birth Control To Maintain Rapes

    DOHUK (Iraq) — Locked inside a room where the only furniture was a bed, the 16-year-old learnt to fear the sunset, because nightfall started the countdown to her next rape.

    During the year she was held by the Islamic State, she spent her days dreading the smell of the ISIS fighter’s breath, the disgusting sounds he made and the pain he inflicted on her body. More than anything, she was tormented by the thought she might become pregnant with her rapist’s child.

    It was the one thing she need not have worried about.

    Soon after buying her, the fighter brought the teenage girl a round box containing four strips of pills, one of them coloured red.

    “Every day, I had to swallow one in front of him. He gave me one box per month. When I ran out, he replaced it. When I was sold from one man to another, the box of pills came with me,” explained the girl, who learned only months later that she was being given birth control.

    It is a modern solution to a medieval injunction: According to an obscure ruling in Islamic law cited by the Islamic State, a man must ensure that the woman he enslaves is free of child before having intercourse with her.

    Islamic State leaders have made sexual slavery as they believe it was practised during the Prophet Muhammad’s time integral to the group’s operations, preying on the women and girls the group captured from the Yazidi religious minority almost two years ago.

    To keep the sex trade running, the fighters have aggressively pushed birth control on their victims so they can continue the abuse unabated while the women are passed among them.

    More than three dozen Yazidi women who recently escaped the Islamic State and who agreed to be interviewed for this article described the numerous methods the fighters used to avoid pregnancy, including oral and injectable contraception, and sometimes both.

    In at least one case, a woman was forced to have an abortion in order to make her available for sex, and others were pressured to do so.

    Some described how they knew they were about to be sold when they were driven to a hospital to be tested for pregnancy. They awaited their results with apprehension: A positive test would mean they were carrying their abuser’s child; a negative result would allow Islamic State fighters to continue raping them.

    The rules have not been universally followed, with many women describing being assaulted by men who were either ignorant of the injunction or defiant of it.

    But overall, the methodical use of birth control during at least some of the women’s captivity explains what doctors caring for recent escapees observed: Of the more than 700 rape victims from the Yazidi ethnic group who have sought treatment so far at a United Nations-backed clinic in northern Iraq, just 5 percent became pregnant during their enslavement, according to Dr Nagham Nawzat, the gynaecologist carrying out the examinations.

    The captured teenage girl, who agreed to be identified by her first initial, M, was sold a total of seven times.

    When prospective buyers came to inquire about her, she overheard them asking for assurances that she was not pregnant, and her owner provided the box of birth control as proof.

    That was not enough for the third man who bought her, she said. He quizzed her on the date of her last menstrual cycle and gave her a version of the so-called morning-after pill, causing her to start bleeding.

    Finally he came into her room, closed the door and ordered her to lower her pants. The teenager feared she was about to be raped.

    Instead he pulled out a syringe and gave her a shot on her upper thigh. It was a 150-milligram dose of Depo-Provera, an injectable contraceptive.

    When he had finished, he pushed her back onto the bed and raped her for the first time.

    Thousands of women and girls from the Yazidi minority remain captives of the Islamic State, after the jihadis overran their ancestral homeland on Mount Sinjar on Aug 3, 2014. In the months since then, hundreds have managed to escape.

    Many of the women interviewed for this article were initially reached through Yazidi community leaders, and gave their consent. All the underage rape victims who agreed to speak were interviewed alongside members of their family.

    J. an 18-year-old, said she had been sold to the Islamic State’s governor of Tal Afar, a city in northern Iraq.

    “Each month, he made me get a shot. It was his assistant who took me to the hospital,” said J, who was interviewed alongside her mother, after escaping this year.

    “On top of that he also gave me birth control pills. He told me, ‘We don’t want you to get pregnant,’” she said.

    When she was sold to a more junior fighter in the Syrian city of Tal Barak, it was the man’s mother who escorted her to the hospital.

    “She told me, *If you are pregnant, we are going to send you back,’” J said. “About 30 or 40 minutes later, they came back to say I wasn’t pregnant.”

    The fighter’s mother triumphantly told her son that the 18-year-old was not pregnant, validating his right to rape her, which he did repeatedly.

    A 20-year-old who asked to be identified only as H began to feel nauseated soon after her abduction.

    Already pregnant at the time of her capture, she considered herself one of the fortunate ones. For almost two months, H. was held in locked rooms, but she was spared the abuse befalling most of the young women held alongside her.

    Despite being repeatedly forced to give a urine sample and always testing positive, she, too, was eventually picked.

    Her owner took her to a house, shared by another couple. When the couple was present, he did not approach her, suggesting he knew it was illegal. Only when the couple left did he forcibly have sex with her.

    Eventually he drove her to a hospital with the aim of making her have an abortion, and flew into a rage when she refused the surgery, repeatedly punching her in the stomach. Even so, his behaviour suggested he was ashamed: He never told the doctors that he wanted H. to abort, instead imploring her to ask for the procedure herself.

    When he drove her home, she waited until he left and then threw herself over the property’s wall.

    “My knees were bleeding. I was dizzy. I almost couldn’t walk,” she said.

    Weeks later, with the help of smugglers hired by her family, she was spirited out of Islamic State territory.

    Her first child, a healthy baby boy, was born two months later. THE NEW YORK TIMES

     

    Source: www.todayonline.com

  • AWARE: Legal, Societal Discrimination Leaves LGBT People Vulnerable To Abuse

    AWARE: Legal, Societal Discrimination Leaves LGBT People Vulnerable To Abuse

    I read with dismay that a man extorted large sums from a male teacher by threatening to reveal their sexual relationship to the Ministry of Education and the teacher’s school (“Man pleads guilty to extorting S$197k, gifts from male teacher he had tryst with”, TODAYonline, Jan 12).

    These criminal acts were carried out by an unscrupulous individual. But he was enabled by the atmosphere of secrecy that our society has collectively imposed on LGBT people.

    While any married person might fear exposure of adultery, the teacher in this case faced further vulnerability because of the legal, societal and institutional discrimination that treats same-sex relationships as invalid and shameful.

    Section 377A of the Penal Code stigmatises sexual activity between men, LGBT people are not protected against employment discrimination, and same-sex relationships are routinely censored from media representation.

    As long as we demand that these relationships stay furtive, the people in them will remain vulnerable to abuse.

    Indeed, the prevalence of sexual blackmail was cited by British parliamentarians in the 1960s as one reason for decriminalising homosexuality.

    The experience of the Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) at the Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) reveals a similar disturbing issue: Section 377A can discourage some men from reporting sexual violence against them to the police.

    They fear that in describing the sexual assault or their interactions with their attackers, they will reveal that they have, themselves, violated Section 377A, and thus be, themselves, subject to police investigation.

    Most people face great social and emotional barriers to reporting sexual assault.

    For some, Section 377A adds the fear that the authorities will treat them not as the victim of a crime, but as a perpetrator.

    The Government’s position that the law will not be proactively enforced does not adequately allay this concern.

    Individuals are understandably nervous about whether such a stand will truly override the weight of the written law, which plainly says they have committed a crime.

    Moreover, for someone who has faced a potentially traumatic sexual assault, even if he is not subsequently prosecuted, the prospect of police investigations for an alleged crime can be enough to deter reporting.

    His attacker is, therefore, never held to account.

    The extortion case and SACC’s experiences show some of the great human costs of a supposed moral stance against homosexuality.

    As long as our society continues to discriminate against LGBT people, we will aid and abet their abuse.

    The opinion by Jolene Tan, Programmes and Communications Senior Manager, Association of Women for Action and Research, was published in Voices, Today, on 19 Jan 2015.

    Source: www.todayonline.com

     

     

  • Woman Climbed Out Of Window And Fell, To Hide From Abusive Boyfriend

    Woman Climbed Out Of Window And Fell, To Hide From Abusive Boyfriend

    She was so afraid of her abusive boyfriend that she risked her life to hide from him.

    Madam Zahirah Mohamed Sultan, 40, climbed out of a kitchen window of her fourth storey flat of Block 182 Rivervale Crescent in Sengkang at around midnight on March 7.

    Her boyfriend, 34-year-old Muhammad Shaiful Hassan, had become enraged. She saw the window as her only means of escape.

    While trying to lower herself to her third-floor neighbour’s parapet, Madam Zahirah slipped and fell to the ground.

    Fortunately, she survived, with fractures to her left arm and leg.

    Instead of helping,  Shaiful, a 34-year-old trailer driver, went to the ground floor to scold her before leaving the scene.

    He was jailed for 20 months and two weeks yesterday (Oct 19) after he was convicted of two drug-related charges, and one count each of housebreaking at night, committing a rash act, and an offence under the Bankruptcy Act — failure to submit to the official assignee a statement of affairs.

    Madam Zahirah, who has two young sons, told The New Paper: “I was attracted to his caring ways. He was caring and responsible, unlike my ex-husband. He got along with my boys and they adored him.

    “But I found out that he was very possessive and got jealous easily.”

    Declining to reveal any details, she claimed that Shaiful had beaten her up in the past.

    Neighbours TNP spoke to said that they used to hear the couple quarrelling almost every day.

    At around midnight on March 7, Shaiful drove his prime mover to Madam Zahirah’s block, picked up a metal rod and marched up to her flat to look for her.

    She and her two boys were about to go to bed when he started banging on the front door. Out of fear, she decided not to let him in.

    Panicking, she climbed out of her kitchen window to hide from him.

    When no one opened the door, a furious Shaiful used the metal rod to smash a window that was facing the common corridor and climbed into the flat.

     

    Source: www.tnp.sg