Tag: races

  • How Malays Define Malayness? Well Truth Is Its Very Confusing And Inconsistent

    How Malays Define Malayness? Well Truth Is Its Very Confusing And Inconsistent

    So how does one define who is or isn’t Malay? Having actually researched this for my thesis for the past two years, please let me share with ya’ll SOME of what I’ve learned.

    How Malays define Malayness has always been head-scratchingly confusing to those who are not Malay and even to us who identify as Malay in Singapore, it’s blatantly inconsistent. It is something of a pet passion of mine, probably because people keep assuming I’m chinese. Also, why is Malayness confusing? This is because there are actually competing definitions of Malayness. Dr. David Tantow identifies three which can be found in Sg:

    1) there is the Islamic ummah, which basically imagines ALL Muslims in the Malay archipelago regardless of ethnicity as being part of the larger Malay community (basically, it’s: you are Arab? Pakistani? Well, hello, welcome, cuz as long as you Muslim, you my bro). Apparently, This emerged as kind of an identity-based counter to Western imperialism and colonialism in the 19th and early 20th centuries but which has now gotten a pretty bad rep because talk about a southeast Asian caliphate now (which is what this definition alludes to) and people will be like, eh, don’t become Isis leh, I call police.

    2) Then, for the second, we have Malayness defined by cultural signifiers and codes, where we talk about people who practise Malay customs (adat), speak the Malay language (Bahasa), and practise Islam (agama). These three thingies form the basis of whether someone is either Malay (Melayu) or if that person has “enter (has become) Malay” (masuk Melayu). What confuses people about THIS definition is that it does NOT take genetic heritage into account. Basically, it’s: oh, you have Pakistani parents? But you now speak Malay, love motorcycles, know how to eat nasi ambeng, and go Friday prayers? Then we same-same Melayu lah bro.

    3) The third definition is the one Mendaki and the gahmen loves cuz it’s the simplest one; using parentage/ancestry or “genetic and territorial qualifiers”. It’s really just, oh, your father is Malay, your mother is Malay, then two plus two equals four cikgu. It’s the most exclusive kind of Malayness but also one that people who are not Malay are least confused by. Also, can anyone spell “administrative convenience”?
    (Source: www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13639811.2012.725553)

    4) THEN, as if these three ways of defining Malayness is not enough, we’ve not even touched on the fact that “Malay” also refers to an umbrella term for “the Malay races”, which is when we further divide Malays up into whether they are Minang, or Bawean (Boyan), or Javanese, or Bugis, even Filipinos and Orang Asli,etc, etc, oh so many many, many of which have their own languages, customs, even religious practices, some of whom are chill with being called Malay and others who are less chill because of reasons. All of them are represented in singapore so JOY.

    5) THEN, as if I don’t have a migraine already, not only are all these different ways of defining Malays competing with each other, they are COEXISTING in some kind of strange equilibrium because, you know, we Malays don’t have enough problems in our lives. It’s why some of us say, Wah, this Marican cannot Bahasa Melayu, is he really Melayu (second definition)? Then with Khan, whom no one has criticised for not being able to speak Malay, people are like, eh, he Pakistani ancestry means he’s not Malay right (third definition).

    6) THIS EQUILIBRIUM SHIFTS, because Malays cannot duduk diam-diam, between each other but also internally within the three definitions as well. For example, increased religiosity in recent decades means many Malays absolutely require someone to be Muslim to be considered Malay while others like the 1960s Malay nationalists placed a premium on customs and heritage. Before that, there was also the phrase “Bahasa jiwa bangsa” (language is the soul of a nation) which was a huge draw for the malay intelligentsia because they ardently believe that MALAY LIT IS MORE LIT THAN YOUR ROKOK. It’s only really with the (racist) British system of colonial administration, and later on with the (rac-Er-problematic) CMIO system that the third definition really became much more dominant in the lives of Malays in sg. All in all, these shifting lines evolve to adhere to historical and cultural changes.

    7) So, really, what I am trying to say is defining who is Malay and how has been one long historical ?&$?? that has resulted in the inconsistency many people are now seeing in how the Malay community is treating the candidates. ALSO, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, it has resulted in me extending my MA Programme by one semester, WHICH LIKE WAHLAO NI MELAYUNESS MAKAN MELAYU KE PE, incidentally. Now, with this development in the Presidential Election, this headache is finally going to be passed on to, as it usually happens here, a committee. I’m kinda looking forward to what they’re gonna say. For research purposes. Of course, they could just use the simplest, most boring way which is the third, genetically defined one, which will disqualify Khan. But this would leave us with Marican who many Malays would like to instinctively disqualify because of the second definition.

    Of course, likely, both will be disqualified because of the 500 million dollar in whatever equity rule, neatly avoiding this headache, which will mean, happily, that this migraine will continue, resulting in more MC days for my Malay brethren and me.

    Disclaimer: While Malay identity is important to my thesis, it’s not the main subject I am investigating for my research project. As such, what I know is limited and no doubt incomplete. So please feel free to add in any gaps or correct any inaccuracies as you spot them.

     

    Source: Hidhir Razak

  • Commentary: Inter-Racial Marriages Nothing Special, Until I Met Those Facing Challenges

    Commentary: Inter-Racial Marriages Nothing Special, Until I Met Those Facing Challenges

    My own inter-ethnic relationship has been obstacle-free, writes Kane Cunico, but a documentary on mixed marriages has spurred others to share with me the struggles they face in gaining acceptance.

     

    SINGAPORE: Sàam gu ma, sei gu ma, baat gu che, sahp suk – Cantonese words I would have never imagined myself learning by heart, had I not married my ethnically Chinese wife whose dad’s side of the family is from Ipoh, Malaysia.

    Respectively, they mean this:

    Sàam gu ma: My father-in-law’s third oldest sister.

    Sei gu ma: My father-in-law’s fourth oldest sister.

    Baat gu je: The eighth sibling in the family and my father-in-law’s younger sister.

    Sahp suk:  The tenth sibling and my father-in-law’s younger brother.

    In my Indian-Eurasian household, which feels neither very Indian nor very Eurasian, we just call them aunty (insert name) and uncle (insert name).

    I have always been indifferent to my cultural roots, flippant to a point. I wouldn’t consider myself religious, but I am constantly open and curious about other people’s heritage.

    The same goes for my wife, who identifies herself as a third-culture kid.

    We both were fortunate to have parents who were willing to break their own cultural and religious traditions for their children, and compromise on a wedding that made everyone happy. Even while dating, race or religion never became an issue. I would call us rather happy-go-lucky.

    But the recent On The Red Dot series, Love Is (Colour) Blind, prompted me to reflect on just how lucky perhaps we were. The documentary profiled three mixed-race couples who spoke about the ups and downs of their relationships, from gaining family acceptance to bringing up their mixed-heritage children.

    In response, hundreds of netizens have commented on Facebook, eager to share their own experiences in inter-ethnic marriages. I was heartened to see all those different races and religions coming together – it was like those United Colors of Benetton ads I wished the world could be more like.

    Watch: The story of Martin and Esther

    But on the flip side, friends and not a few commentators on Facebook have asked: “Why is this even a story? Why talk about this? What’s the big deal? Inter-racial marriages have been around for a long time. Why single it out?”

    And in a way, they were right. I had never before seen it as a problem.

    WE’VE HAD IT EASY

    Yet in talking to some of those who wrote on our Facebook page, and re-watching the episodes, it struck me – my wife and I have had it easy, relationship wise.

    The same can’t be said of Facebook writer Hui Jing Ong. A Singaporean Chinese who is Buddhist, she married an Indian national who is Sikh. They have two children.

    In a telephone interview, she told me: “My parents are divorced, but my father until now cannot accept our marriage or children. He’s kind of a racist. My mum says as long as I’m happy, she’s okay with it.”

    Hui Jong Ong with her husband, Gurdev Singh, have two children. (Photo: Hui Jing Ong) 

    Another Facebook user, Jasmine Jay, had dated her husband-to-be for four years. He is Malaysian, Malay and Muslim, and she is Singaporean, Sikh and Catholic.

    Three and a half years ago, when she became pregnant, they decided to tie the knot. For three months, both deliberated on who should convert. They ultimately decided neither should. His family snubbed their wedding.

    “Even my mum said no to the wedding. But since the birth of our daughter, his family have accepted us,” said Jasmine in a phone interview.

    She added: “Today we have two children. I have a younger son and we both agreed the children will be Catholic.”

    Despite the continuing struggles, both have found happiness where their relationship once floundered in a quagmire of disapproval.

    Last year, 4,142 marriages in Singapore involved couples of different races, making up 21.5 per cent of all marriages for the year. In 2005, inter-ethnic marriages made up just 14.9 per cent.

    So mixed marriages may be becoming normalised; but many couples still face familial and societal obstacles to make it work.

    Watch: The story of Simon and Veronica

    Friends of ours in inter-racial relationships have had to try hard to win over their culturally traditional in-laws-to-be, who were worried about what others in their community might say or think.

    And such cultural conservatism isn’t just confined to our parents’ generation. Some young couples my wife and I meet have no qualms telling us that they wouldn’t want their children dating someone of another race.

    A recent survey by Channel NewsAsia, in partnership with the Institute of Policy Studies, reflects some of these response. The survey found that fewer than one in four Chinese respondents were accepting of a non-Chinese marrying into the family; while fewer than half of Indian respondents indicated acceptance of a non-Indian into their family, according to the survey.

    WHEN CHILDREN COME INTO THE PICTURE

    For newlyweds like my wife and me, who are looking forward to having children, we know we cannot keep taking a laissez-faire approach to our mixed marriage.

    At some point, matters of race and religion will come up, and perhaps these may actually turn out to be issues for both sets of parents, as Jasmine learnt.

    “Managing families – that is still a challenge,” said the 23-year-old stay-at-home mother and trained nurse.

    “So many awkward moments. How you spend your festivities and whose religion you follow. You will argue about what cultural name the child will have. Should it be Indian or Malay in our case? And what religion will the child practice?” she added.

    Jasmine Jay with her husband, Abdul Rahim, daughter Raphaela 3, and son Rayden, 6 months. (Photo: Jasmine Jay)

    “To be honest, it is tough, but my husband and I, only because we are quite neutral with race and religion, we told our parents to leave the decision to us. So we gave the children neutral names. There is no “daughter of” to follow my Indian heritage, and no “bin or binte” to follow his Malay heritage.

    “But the beauty is that they get to be a part of both our cultural and religious practices and festivities,” said Jasmine.

    “So just follow your heart and fight for your right, and hopefully, both sides can still remain a strong family.”

    Watch: The story of Norsham and Anne

    Another Facebook user, Hazre Salim, told me it’s really about planning far ahead.

    A Malay Muslim, he married a Chinese Buddhist about two years ago after they dated for a year. Hazre, a secondary school educator, was upfront about how religion was important to him. With her full understanding, they both pre-empted their parents very early on in their relationship.

    “I knew first and foremost there were going to be challenges: Parents, friends, religion. But we had supportive parents,” the 35-year-old said.

    “There will be instances where we cannot solve the problem straight away. Children will definitely be an issue; we will face it when it comes.

    “But we both believe that when two people get together and have faith and trust in each other, it will work out,” said Hazre, adding that when they cannot resolve matters on their own, “we go to our parents and figure it out”.

    Hazre Salim and Nur Iviana Tham sought the approval of their parents early on. (Photo: Hazre Salim)

    Hazre’s and Jasmine’s advice are timely. My wife and I will soon have to decide which religion our child will be a part of, and what second language they should learn at school.

    What race do we categorise our children under, when their ancestral tapestry has Italian, Indian, Chinese and Peranakan heritage woven into it?

    These are questions we do not have the answers to yet. But we are fortunate and optimistic.

    Fortunate, to be in a place where inter-ethnic marriages are fast becoming normalised, if they aren’t already; and where strangers, who have shared their stories online, are willing to give us the perspective we need.

    Optimistic, that our families, made up of a suks, gu mas, aunties, uncles, mums, dads, mamas and grandmas, are around to hopefully be as open as they have always been with two happy-go-lucky and culturally impartial children.

     

    Source: CNA

  • Singaporeans Less Open to Inter-Racial Dating

    Singaporeans Less Open to Inter-Racial Dating

    SINGAPORE – Despite interracial marriages being on the rise here, most Singaporeans still prefer dating within their own race, data from a major dating agency here has shown.

    Last year, 20.9 per cent of marriages registered here involved couples of different races, up from 20.7 per cent in 2012.

    But of the almost 1,000 Singaporean members of dating agency Lunch Actually, 92.5 per cent would rather not date people of other ethnicities.

    This is a higher proportion than 89.6 per cent of the agency’s members in Hong Kong, and 76.6 per cent of those in Malaysia.

    Altogether, the data analysed was from close to 3,000 of the agency’s members in the three territories. It takes into consideration the clients’ first preferences for their ideal partner.

    Lunch Actually CEO Violet Lim, 34, theorises the results may be because most of the agency’s Singaporean clientele are Chinese.

    “Social conditioning and family expectations may lead to them to prefer to date other Chinese people first,” she said. “It’s not necessarily that they’re not open to dating other races, but the people who join our dating agency are generally looking to settle down and have to think about factors such as finding somebody their family might approve of.

    “It’s important to realise there is a difference between a person’s first dating preferences and the person they actually end up being compatible with.”

    Of the 996 clients surveyed in Singapore, 488 women and 462 men were Chinese.

    The data was analysed by data analytics company Qlik using its app called Qlik Sense. Qlik then worked with Lunch Actually to combine the app with the agency’s data into a new app, which generates graphs and charts that show such dating trends. This new app, The Ideal Partner, can be downloaded for free from http://www.qlik.com/datingtrends.

    Other results produced by the new app also showed more “traditional preferences” among the singles surveyed in all three territories, Ms Lim said.

    For instance, men across all age ranges showed a preference for women in their 20s. While younger women preferred men aged 30 to 35, older women aged 45 to 50 seemed more inclined towards younger men aged 25 to 35.

    Close to 80 per cent of the men surveyed did not want to date divorcees, and 93.8 per cent preferred not to date people who already have children. Women were more open on this front, with 33.5 per cent willing to date divorcees and 12.9 per cent willing to date those with children.

    Ms Lim hopes to use the data to understand her clientele better and to help them manage their expectations.

    “People are wired to look for certain things in their ideal partners,” she said. “If we share this data with them, they might realise some expectations are unrealistic and consider being more open about who they are willing to go out with.”

    The next step will be to analyse how closely the clients’ visions of their ideal partners correspond to the people they are matched with.

    Qlik Sense can be adapted to analyse other sets of data. Qlik Asia’s vice president Terry Smagh, 38, said: “The ability to take data such as these survey statistics from Lunch Actually and drop it into Qlik Sense for visual analysis is something that many businesses, including small and medium enterprises in singapore, will find valuable.”

     

    Source: www.straitstimes.com